I pretty much wholeheartedly believe that gambling is one of
my vices that needs to be conquered and money won’t flow until I meet this head
on. We all have our vices, I just love the cartoonish slots and the mini wins,
but online casinos are such a rip off. I put up an affiliate link on the church
a few days ago for one of the best ones online, but after some meditation on
how much I struggle with it, I don’t want to hand over the same struggle to one
of my readers, so recently I closed my account with a payment service called entropay.
I think it takes much more than self-control with something like this, it is a
true addiction and something that has ruined many people ten fold.
I am happy though because I am able to address this in me,
the craving for more money. And I have surpassed challenges before, my biggest
one was marijuana- I love that stuff way too much. In my rave days I could
consume copious amounts of party drugs but was never really addicted. Later on
I succumbed to 420 because it is just too damn good.
I think I would revisit the issue if it was legalized and
perhaps genetically modified to take away the munchies and paranoia. There was
a time I was smoking it 12 times in one day and it was definitely a sad time in
my life because it really made me quite isolated, and this is something I enjoy
a lot lately, living in the country away from people. Anyways I am just glad
that more deeper addictions didn’t find me, because I was going through about
$60 in one or two nights of 420 and that is just not sustainable lol
Don’t get me wrong, this virtual ministry and the reverend
behind it fully argue for the legalization of all substances but there has to
be safe guards in place, how isolated the heroin addict must feel having to shy
away in an alley to shoot up in their arm with a needle, like that is just
purely disgusting in my opinion but there has to be a level of compassion for
suffering when you think of people such as this and their struggle, what
choices they have made, what abuse they have suffered at the angry hands of
their parents, siblings, spouses or bad dates.
I look at my challenges and what I am here to face, and I
can say full on that most of my observations come to me after some meditation
or after drinking a 6 pack of beer lol, but also they come to me in this acute
ability to observe ones own actions and be able to critique them later, most
people live oblivious to this concept and blindly go about afflicting harm on
others and have no ability to rethink things and think to themselves another
course of action.
Internet gambling is sketchy at best too, most online casinos
are licensed out of shady Caribbean islands or through the kahnawake mowhawk reserve
so good luck getting the $8500 they owe you lol anywayss it was just this that
made me think, I was logging into one of my recently favourite casinos called
red flush casino and made my deposit and then suddenly I noticed they
automatically doubled my deposit in some weird automatic bonus scheme, anyways
I played for a bit and won about $130 and went to withdraw and it said I needed
to play the bonus which only comes as the last bit of the $130, so essentially
you have to play to zero to cash out again, I talked to the customer service
who confirmed this for me, and she said “some of our players like this bonus” I
was like are you effin kidding me? Who on earth would ‘like’ this scheme. So I
told her she lost a loyal player.
Anyways one group of casinos was left the jetbingo,bingoliner,
bingocafe, setups. And I observed the amount I put in and found that I end up
spending more if I do a withdrawl thinking I will win, anyways the whole thing
just stressed me out and I decided with the help of the gods to end this part
of me.
I will resume moderate lottery ticket buying with my local
government casino which does online gambling but I will set limits for myself,
there is a much more easier process going through a legit and regulated
scenario rather than something setup in the Netherlands Antilles lol There are
people that never question their habits or vices, and it kills them!
I think this is something I personally have to work on, and
cannot remain ignorant to it for long, I mean what if my novels hit it big,
what if I win in excess of a million dollars, I don’t want to be the person you
have heard about that has spent it all in two years and is living in a slum
what a travesty
It is sad that some people are born into massive amounts of
wealth and don’t have to deal with some of the obstacles the rest of us have to
deal with but most really rich people are cokeheads or Satanists anyway so it
would just be fortuitous for somebody like me to win or be published or my art
to hit mainstream.
I am proud of the fact that I have a loving and supportive
partner who understands me, and doesn’t criticize me, I am happy that I have
distanced myself and isolated myself in a beautiful forest ashram away from my
family and the madness of an insane world and that I get to lead my dream faith
to absolute serenity.
-Shaun A. Delage
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