kaiak swift

The silent retreat has been pretty good. I like to mix in a bit of 420 too makes it a nice experience

I couldn’t really quit marijuana with good faith so I will now be a marijuana priest as well as a matrix techno universalist

What an exciting time to be alive. What a chaotic time to be alive. Quite the time with illusions involved. See people imagine the world as expansive with many countries but I like to view the countries as separate dimensions literally sewn together into a dimensional vortex known as earth

I was recently reading a book on hollow earth which hypothesized that there is about 800 million living inside the earth with an internal sun which the Nazis originated from and came out of then snuck back into. Apparently the hitler force retreated back into the earth after the war and their defeat to continue the race.

While it makes sense that there is no UFOS as we see them per se that the race under the earth is an advanced species that has thousands of years ahead of us. What I cant make the correlation is between hitler the Aryans and middle earth so to speak

If they were such an enlightened race why would they allow events to happen without intervention

Apparently the last time they came up to the surface was after the Hiroshima bomb

So I feel this book found me at the right time.

Just before we are lead to believe that aliens have landed in their UFOS but UFOS themselves are not of other worlds they are from within our expansive planet.

They see surface dwellers as barbarians.

I have never really given too much paranoia to 2012 or apocalypse or anything like that

When you see yourself as a universal being you don’t really get swept up in the chaos of earth affairs

That is why I have been preparing for the inevitable

The system wide reset.

I don’t think it will be as horrific as we are lead to believe. Some would say just a digital flicker and others would say the nuclear blast

It all depends on region and locale because currently the arab world is going through COMPLETE APOCALYPSE When it starts to happen in your awareness this is when you turn on survival mode, people start to shake, get uncontrollable nervousness, and hunger.

They begin to panic.

This is when the enlightened being, (instead of going out into the street with a knife and a bag for looting ) sits calm with a candle and meditates.

We seemingly are in a utopian paradise with no disasters. But that could all change.

I don’t agree with my countries supporting bloodshed but when I look around the world I question whether we want to open the doors to some of the ideologies that surround the earth.

In my travels in conspiracy circles I have noticed a lack of compassion and lack of class levels throughout the entire left

This made me question my role in society opposing this in society but that is one reason I started the church of techno. I wanted to provide an avenue digitally and virtually where I could preach universal dialogue fitting with my character.

My character outshines entire countries, people, rich people, elites, masons, actors, ambassadors, presidents, enemies, lovers ah the list goes on

This is why I felt it was essential to provide this place virtually

To provide an alternative viewpoint yes but also show people that you can have an active war with psychological operations and a one man war with lucifers army (that numbers in the trillions/quadrillions of souls power) against ONE

Life is very difficult for everyone I can sense this. One thing about living where I am is we are relatively sheltered   

I also live on a huge island so I am sheltered from the mainlands problems like Australia

So if biogenic war broke out or terrorism or whatever I am pretty safe here

There is so much fear mechanism out there to make you believe that you are in danger

I always say when it happens that is when you deal with it. Of course it is wise to be prepared in case chaos hits but not overtly paranoid so paranoid you go out and literally commit grave breaches of your code of humanity against others.

This is where the illusion has been won currently

Is people are so given into this fear mechanism they genuinely believe that they don’t need things like compassion or happiness or love in their future.

This 2012 time may be a complete disaster yes. A flash of light and the whole planet is incinerated but death is nothing to be feared, more feared should be your waking state because it is pretty much 100% illusion and an illusion of form of sorts because it is all so familiar and responsive.

A literal reality hacked from the dream state.

The only thing that matters is your soul. But souls are far more impressive than ever imagined. Some souls are scattered in multitudes across countless dimensions co existing and cohabitating alongside the various and meticulous illusions.

CANADA and USA governance is not of this world.

Why do I say this? Because Countries as you are lead to believe do not exist. Power structures as your made aware are not as they are made out to be. People are far from any meaning. And the world that is pulled over your eyes is simply illusion. There is no other word that can describe it

Not to say go and end your life, there is nothing else to see. Far from it

Death should never be of your own choosing. See I cheated death I know this.

Many people read my words and don’t understand how I come into their lives. I am simply a spiritual leader.  But I leave it at that. I don’t ask for anything in return. Its kind of a karmic thing. I could sit here and watch startrek reruns all night or I could affect change in singular lives.

This is my purpose. I am here to guide people through a VERY difficult time, (at least those that can afford a computer. )

The vulnerability of the last remaining humans is key because there are not many remaining humans. I don’t know if you can count them on one hand or two or you would need a few people hands but I don’t think the actual last remaining humans would even fill a room full of hands

Funny because you see hundreds of people a day if not thousands, but like I said ….illusion. or better described as hybrids or even moreso, digitalized hybrids.

All you would need in a sense is alchemy of humanity really. The ability to make things appear as human or fleshlike and you have an illusion of society.

You could have 10 people born into earth in separate countries and literally infest their surroundings with thousands and thousands of digitalized hybrids to make them believe they are unimportant

I like to be a renunciate and not many people know what it is like to live in renunciation

It is a calm existence. But I only nourish myself just enough to live another day or a few hours at best. I don’t really get to indulge much because I don’t have to reward myself for the trauma of slavery nor the injuries sustained physically or emotionally.

I have tried looking for employment but I feel I am so institutionalized that there is no saving me. What a difficult life.

Men even, I try and look there. I think they think I am too human, or insane, or whatever not hybrid enough. Our world is very hybrid to live in. All forms of education, policy, law, philosophy, and entertainment are HYBRID INTELLIGENCE. Those that don’t subscribe to this intelligence are killed off, labeled as insane, pushed into poverty or the underground or take their own lives or for example live a life solely of addiction or alcoholism

All I simply say is don’t believe the world that is being fed to you at all times, question your reality. Question earth. Don’t feed responses back to the mechanism. Only give your happiness, compassion and love outward.

-          Rev. Dr. Shaun A. Delage

GALLERIA

I would like to feature this youtube of my male art since all the images are lost now, I guess I could recover them from the youtube video really but this makes an interesting story to the video lol nevertheless

Rubix Helix

This ministry has always been different,. Literary at best.

Some could say I lead a virtual cult but when you don’t get to meet the people but your aware of the amount of traffic that your site gets it brings a whole new spectrum to the illusions of religion and faith

My faith can be described as matrix buddhist techno universalism then you add in the complexities of me being a vipassi and also have about 10 years of meditation about 3 – 4 hours a day so far under my belt

I only see people questioning the illusion around them when they meet me and don’t understand how i affect change on their consciousness. Here we see a simple expressive dramatic shy gay guy that is very creative leading a virtual ministry with about 3 years of discourses written and logged on the site

If this site was to be made into a movie it would take approximately 400 hours to watch.

Many people do wear their programming, like I would be the embodiment in a gypsy that nobody could describe because the gypsy would only do their work in the shadows and sometimes years into the future which makes the presence in the moment a bit of a time loop paradox

Today I am wearing checkerboard boardshorts and dalai llama beads so who knows maybe I was ordained into a mystical solar suncult perhaps I was ordained into dozens over my life. But the paradox exists solely in my enlightenment because I am aware of how my words, may make an impression.

Coming into a life where you have seen ALL ends of the personality spectrum in totality...something that the super elite cannot even subscribe too. What makes the existence of the church so exciting is that we are in a new millennium we are given new spectrum to work with..

The world needs somebody to shape the millennia and in a way the art movement that exists alongside the church will only set a strict standard of expression in a futurist and populist society to live in

People will be looking to recruit modes of creativity seen on this site. Some people become very mean and start stalking up but I find there is truths in giving your enemies everything they need to defeat you because most just stop at some point and just become fascinated or scared and your never bothered again your simply left in peace.

Anomaly is a new word anew expression and a new voice but so is millennium warriors and matrix warriors as well as metis warriors. SO expressive wit aside It’s time to party

Let’s get frisky with it babe

-          Shaun A. Delage

mystical trance

Amassing a lifetime of experience is a challenging endeavour

I have been pondering addiction lately since I am in my week of not smoking 420 after a pseudo 2 month 420 blitz

Addiction, hahaha never ending in a satanic paradise

Then you have the elites taking drugs we have no idea about because of their close involvement with the pharmaceutical cartels. I would estimate that there are about 2000 undiscovered drugs on shelves

I was reading an article lately that said we may get drugs for our worst fears or what we lack like motivation, passion, compassion, love etc etc

We are in a new millennia where the illusion doesn’t want to be found.

See I am speaking from experience, I am on a mind altering drug that is called risperidone for my schizophrenia. While I don’t notice any real side effects. The effects of the drug on me, don’t make me feel abnormal in a sense, the drug helps me operate normally

But this is the thing that makes me think of the 2012 illusion/ hoax and why individuals should not fear this coming change because there are so many people hopelessly addicted to substances we will never understand for example look up the chemistry on my drug and the meaning of it, it is really alien lingo and they even have chemistry signatures etc

I have no doubt in my mind that many of the charismatic elites you see are on many different substances, and when their supply is questioned, that is where the real power comes in

Not only that but these pharmaceutical cartels are able to operate in developing countries to literally come out with multitudes of things to keep us addicted.

See I stopped my medication after my breakup a few years ago and I ended up wearing Buddhist robes and walked 10 miles barefoot before i found myself in the hospital for a one night stay. After I had stabilized I was allowed to leave on a trip to a 5 star hotel to whistler so quite the spectrum

So when I think of a 420 addiction and the stress I am going through at the moment I think of the advanced interdimensional drugs that are out there that are actually produced by alien beings to enslave the human race but better than that they only need to get these ruling programs hooked and out comes evil laws and statutes to enslave us further, It is easy to enslave 1,000,000 people.

You only need to go to the person that is literally in control over those million people.

We live in a very intergalactic world. It is ironic that they don’t ever come clean about space tourism on earth and interdimensional travel. In a way movies and film operate as a trademark of writ

They allow legal script to play out in concentrated form allowing the truth to be told in fictional context. Take for example men in black

When you think of your world most are left oblivious to the true world. Nobody in their lives would ever take a wafer from nasa and be able to traverse the dimensions because they were never enlightened to that nature or that world.

There are so many hidden worlds all around. Including those that have the ability to manipulate the visible spectrum apparently we only see about 20% of what is visually present

So  4:20 haha almost worse that heroin in a sense, but I shouldn’t say this because I know that I will prolly smoke a joint again ahahah smoke it if you got it lolz

But just going through withdrawl and bringing bags of dimes to the people that supply it is a funny notion because it makes me think of suffering, that even enlightened beings suffer

We all suffer, the animal kingdom, the elites, plants, existence

When it all comes down to the mind. This mysterious egg like, alien flesh in our heads and safe to say in our bodies exists the entire universe, that is why we are special

We are billions of years old and each part of your body is given by a separate place in the universe that has discovered the true functionality of the system you need to operate

With the highest presence being the egg like flesh in your head, provided by the highest forms of divine alien nature/guidance.  The brain itself cannot be discovered unless operated on but to discover the true workings of the brain one would have to operate on a live person ...something not many are willing to do, but the Nazis succeeded at.

I was pondering the year 2000 in my head. With all of this latest struggle. What I was going through at the time. I was going on 15 day highs with no sleep and no food.  I would explore myself sexually for days and do things like write jibberish

I was never addicted to crystal meth per se. Just a weekend rave thing. But not many people know what it is like to be on day 12 with no sleep and no food. It is hell on earth. It is a concentration camp. Speaking of this crystal meth was formulated by the Japanese in the 1940’s i believe and sold to the Nazis for use on concentration camp victims.

This drug did allow me to connect to the mysterious force that runs the globe but also allowed me to literally traverse the hell realm and come back and live to tell about it and I still have all my teeth and my hair etc and I don’t look like the addicts you see.

It was my rave nature, and independence and being a crazy teen.

I remember this drug in vivid depth, but nothing I want to try again. I believe this drug took away alot from me, including my motivation and my sexual nature. But also allowed me to go into worlds that nobody could describe and open up pathways that not many get to experience.
It was not just that though not just meth I would be one 3 or 4 drugs a night and sometimes 3,4,6,10 caps of E etc and then there is DMT, GHB, 420, shrooms, acid, xtacy, and ketamine.
Not many people are willing to let their conciousness go that far and not many are willing to put their life at stake to discover this part of themselves 

When I tell people I travel interdimensionally when I sleep they look at me confused because to the common person astral travel is beyond their perception but mostly peoples pathways are shut down due to their indoctrination. But also people usually just dream of hypotheticals or only remember the last 30 seconds of their dream. People that are aware of their dimensional state keep it going and nurture it rather than shut it down, It really takes a psychic mind to go into previously unheard of or unseen dimensions. This is why there is such a war on drugs because perception is the quality the elites dont want you to have. The horror stories are the ones you hear about with the missing teeth and the hair falling out, people snorting 20 bags to die etc These are the most heavily marketed while the society ignores the use of drugs by people that MAKE IT like celebs and the super rich . to scare us into submission. To make us live in a life of slavery when in fact it is okay to do mushrooms every day for the rest of your life if you want if you can handle it lol this is what humanity used to be like.
But what is hidden is the use amongst the rich and elite to achieve things the common person is unable to attain.  When in fact there should be 10-20 legal drugs out there to occupy the decades long sentences we have here.
and what are we? nobody knows. We are alien beings. We are being held captive with about a thousand legalities governing your daily breath. 

It is scary and most shut down those pathways by having a scotch or a joint before bed or whatever

Peoples idea of enlightenment is a funny concept because some people would never read into a medicated schizophrenics words on some strange website with male art

But to likeminded hyper intelligent folk that have a fully sound skill at perception become a loyal disciple.

Not many people innerstand what my purpose is. Why do I sit here and write this.

You know I don’t even know. I get about 10 people a day visit the church of techno and I guess that is enough. Not many people come back. But quite a few just fill 5 min reading the latest post because they are fascinated with my mind. It is nice to smoke 420 once and awhile for a month or whatever but mainly because that drug helps me to dissociate from my real self. Which is this interdimensional traveller. Believe me the travels have started up again the past few nights and I will have a posting in a few days regarding what the aminals want me to see.

There are so many people hopelessly addicted, and if you are one of them just realize when you look at obama or harper or merkel or brown and know there are far worse dimensional drugs to be on.

There are far worse situations.

I have no doubt I am monitored by an advanced intelligence as to how I am doing and perceiving things on this drug I am on. But it helps me to live my life normally without the captivation piece and without the danger and the luciferian mind controlling me and my actions.

I was thinking about my first psychotic outburst

It happened on the steps of a Buddhist temple. I had just walked away from home believing my ex bf had fed me human meat in spaghetti lol So I walked to the temple and started to take off my clothes. I sat there naked almost freezing ..I believed that if I took off my clothes they would put robes on me and I would become a monk. well I think it was a nunnery lol so wrong buddhist sect and wrong gender.

I took off my shoe and started to get spasms. It was strange this led me to believe I was being controlled. SO i continued to take off all my clothes and sat completely naked in front of the temple. Of course I was taken to the hospital and certified, where I claim they inserted the nanobots into my knee.

Oh well what can you do. I don’t really mind my nanobots anymore everytime I feel them I just think to myself that it is blood flowing through a vein lol

This nudist Buddhist stuff continued with me going naked at the Indonesian embassy where I found a tap and just sat in running water for about an hour on Indonesian soil until a twink security guard found me nude on the embassy grounds and said hey whats going on. Where I was arrested again.

Then this happened another time at UBC where I took off all my clothes and yeah haha oh man

So, illness, perhaps....or invisible guardians making me do things to put me on lifelong disability assistance who knows. I will never have the answers it seems
It would seem that this is a byproduct of my sexwork from age 15-19 Yes 15 is a young age to be a sexworker...I was being paid about $400 an hour haha far cry from waiting for my cheque for 4 weeks like I do these days. But also at age 15 was when I first started with drug experimentation and funny thing is I think I stopped the aging process in me...it will be funny when I am 40 and people still think I am a boi ...

Everywhere I look for solace like wanting to be a monk they just start piling on rules and policies

I find searching a job is difficult and defeating

The only real comfort I take is in my projects really. I just know one thing that I believe in.

I will have ALOT of power and authority. And a very long life.

The only things keeping me going

-          Shaun A. Delage

MaLe ArtWeRkZ GALLEria #22.2

beyond perception

I always start each discourse with a blank page hehe seems to work but I am shocked at how easily i express myself in the written form

I have been investigating Buddhist monastic life and have discovered that I don’t feel its for me.

I just have a love of men, and the freedom to do what I what I wish.

I feel my enlightenment is best not served somewhere in the middle of a furest

What a difference one day can make, but I am also going through addiction issues as well at the moment, nothing serious god no, just 420...but I am shocked at the hold it has over me even a simple plant

My enlightenment is best served out here alongside my brothers and sisters in the fight for the liberation of the human race. What are we liberating? It is the entire species from captivity and the slave state.

I have wondered alot about Nazism in modern times, and there exists shadow worlds alongside ours that are invisible that they were able to tap into, as well as claim some Antarctic landmass as their next location as a hub for world domination.

To rule invisibly seems to be the greatest skill. Many may wonder who is around them, or who it is in the media that is so familiar. Who their friends are etc.

These are all reflections of this state of familiarity that is around each individual. Mainly these systems are put into place to stop the person from literally killing themselves and leaving this dimension all together. Because if you see things how they really are, you would want to move too.

The Nazism was able to be put into effect in countless dimensions with the induction and sacrifice of so many people so horrifically and not to mention the practice of the dark arts.

The nazi and hell state is all around us, it is in suffering, every choice we make, the people around us. But also....It is in our very minds, which can be coaxed along through visual cues and neuro linguistics

We live in an all out apocalypse for humanity....To ignore the suffering all around seems infantile but there are systems and checks in place by those that govern over us and police us and judge us. Including things like the sex offender registry in the USA which groups people that are exhibitionist with people that commit crimes against children.

Until the very nature of this litigious society and resulting crimes against humanity can be investigated including the use of such laws including the nazi indian registration, the paradox of healthcare, the evil draconian laws on our freedoms and the systems of taxation and the system we live in itself not to mention the initiated people appointed figureheads over our future in this maritime law society we live in..i dont feel i have a role contributing towards crimes against humanity, in the seeming freest countries on earth.

There are hundreds of thousand of laws and statutes regarding human activity in place over our bodies, and our minds almost our souls.

What is taking place right this very moment is a revolution of individualism. We have people that have been pushed too far and we have whole regions that are unstable because of the marketing that is done on behalf of countries like the west and Europe as to our supposed and seeming freedoms we enjoy

Only if you submit to a freemasonic societal slaverat ideology  however

Where there is a disdain for intellectualism and a disdain for the arts. What kind of society is this but illusion. What is the USA and CANADA

Not much if you think about it. One big building with a rotunda, a ton of fax machines, a computer with every citizens info, and a room full of people. What I ask is why so many give so much power and money over to these monsters whom are initiated sell outs

The democratic governance in the west is ALIEN rulership.

You cannot be elected because of charisma alone, you must fulfil several pre-contrived abilities

Almost like bringing your resume and hunting for a job you have to go through many steps like references and dressing nice for the interview and suck up to the boss etc You cant just walk in and say hey i would like to work here and bam you have the job

The steps needed to be a minister of the government or of the ruling class are by their very nature alien and Masonic ideology and the fact that the governers don’t even belong to the greater community that they obsess about ruling over. They seem to be coming from the higher echelons and chosen to lead over the many lower class just almost symbiots below them

Each day brings a plethora of new meditations, realizations, and inclusions into mindsets which people normally don’t get to discover. In my meditations I have discovered that we are in the endtimes. The best thing anybody can do at this point is prepare for the change that is about to occur with the youth taking the power from these dinosaurs that have no idea what the hell an mp3 is or even a torrent for that matter yet they blindly pass laws that will restrict our freedom of association, our freedom to explore the vast world. Our freedoms to explore cyberspace.

We are in quite a chaotic time, but what would happen if the revolution was won? Well there would be councils setup to explore this, and I believe we would go back to tribal rule. Other dimensional portals would begin to be found and would find us. People would not have endless debt to worry about or the stress and trauma of employment/slavery

The community would be able to hold true to its tribal rule amidst so much technological freedom

Reason I say tribal rule is because I feel strongly that the elitists will take every chance they can get to destroy everything we enjoy through things like disease, ruining the power grid and sabotaging every last dignity we have in an all out catastrophe

BUT

What if this whole world around you and the people you know and the place you live and everything you know is a carefully contrived illusion. That if you need to die to progress into a multitude of dimensions. That you too need to go through a painful or horrible death by nuclear radiation, breaking into boils etc this is what is being played out now and most are too ignorant to take notice

But, it would all be worth it wouldn’t it

See I visit other dimensions all night in my dreamstate, longtime readers know this about me

What I am scared of mostly though is being trapped here forever and ever ....I want to explore billions of galaxies and meet people that are humanoid but purple with sparkles I want to do it all man

I just don’t want my soul to be charted by the Harper.obama.clinton.pontficate.windsor cartel/regime

They are fine charting the territory over the dominion of my mind and body but let me tell you they will never have my soul. Not many people get to look into the nature of their soul, or have the ability to travel astrally or dimensionally and if you can you are of a very few.

We are in a state of total collapse and technically everything you see hear and do is illusion

What are the next steps?

To prepare yourself for change, to do that which is right (in all circumstances) to think universally, to not do what everyone else is doing, to object to tyrannical behaviour amongst the ruling elite, to oppose and object the systems and laws in place around your being

I hope I have given you some things to ponder as I ask nothing in return and also can never get back the last 25 min or so that I spent typing out this message..yesterday I was a buddhist monk and today I relate with the anonymous movement and fuck it all hahaha

Peace

-          Shaun A. Delage  

\

monastic wait

Even one day in ascension is difficult, which is why people choose ritual like employment and other things to keep themselves amused. I have been in serious contemplation over Buddhist monastic life. Not only because of my own inherent spiritual programming but the desire to do something with my life that is epic that has substance that has meaning.

Every chance I get and I do get close to going away to discover this part of me, people get suspicious and say things that make me wonder. What is monastic life but doing the work of the lord Buddha.

In a way I have wanted to become a monk since about 20 yrs old. It is a complex theory to want to be a Buddhist monk because doing the buddhas work is very appealing and very sound and very honourable

I find I don’t really have an attachment to sexuality. I mean of course I am gay. But I don’t enjoy regular gay sex like everyone else, maybe a by product of my sex work I have no idea.

I don’t really have a purpose or a role in society. I am not receiving any help whatsoever as far as ascension goes from the system and this leads me to believe I am being held in pseudo captivity

The only way I can really discover this, is if I go discover the meditation centre on my own.

It is pretty far, quite the setback financially to go visit which is why i was looking for assurances of my safety and security, something the centre is not willing to provide.

They have only told me that first time visitors to the centre are limited to 10 day stays

They want to meet me and get to know me.

I think I would be a prime candidate to enter a monastic order, I have the devotion, the happiness, the life experience, and the ability to give discourses. But also in this is my ability to live simply while people ten years younger are passing me by so to speak.

I guess in a way I have tried the householding life, I have experimented living on my own with a roommate the past 3 years and I seriously question whether I have a role out in this reality

I think my involvement in a spiritual faith would ground me, and fill me with its own enlightenment

Of course I am petrified of people and stuff like this, new things. To show up one day and say I am moving in seems a bit out of place but also in the right regard how can I be sure I want to live there without even showing up to meet the people and monks and teachers behind the order.

I am putting some deep thought into this and I don’t know where the answers will lead me

But I do know I am going through a societal dysphoria in a sense. I feel I have no directive in a slave based society. Philosophy is my main language. I cant seem to find a suitable mate with qualities I seek

Plus I have been mostly celibate for about 10 years off and on minus virtual secks But I mean with another partner I can count on one hand. This makes me a bit of an oddity and I even saw my psychiatrists face when I told him I practice celibacy and renunciation

When I listen to Buddhist discourses on birkens website I only grow more fond of monastic life ....Then I understand how I am treated by those men that I am supposed to be in love with and I am only left with more questions.

What leads me onto this path is complex. Terribly complex. It is a combination of poverty, my living situation with family, slavery, enlightenment, meditation, my dissatisfaction, my frustration with society

This constant barrage of information that is taking place puts one person on the level of a microprocessor and you are constantly being used as a digital tool

Then you throw in fear based psychological operations and other things like media and music and we have ourselves an illusion of identity

I guess in a way I have been in an observational state. Observing those people attached to reality and studying them. I see how inherently dissatisfied they are and how they use things like addiction, drama and anger to solve their inherent paradox of enslavement

Another issue all together is my income. I am on a priests wage but they don’t give me a penny more. It is barely enough to pay all my bills and live on and spending money is usually out of the question

I have always wanted to meet a guy that could help me with this or whatever but no men seem to want to include themselves in my life, and I have looked, maybe I am unapproachable

 I truly believe I want to be around people that are like me, think like me, have depth, character, they have goals of ascending and becoming enlightened and helping others

There is the fear that sets in like oh man I will be living in a hut in the forest with no hair or eyebrows in robes kind of a pathetic existence lol but it is much more than that.

It is putting yourself into a role that matters, where you have substance, where you are in effect a spiritual leader. You have worked to attain your own personal enlightenment

I have never given in to too much ceremony or ritual in Buddhism and have never really attached to group meditations or whatever

People around me say I should start out small with baby steps and perhaps just go to meditate with a group or something

But it is deeper than that, it is about being immersed in the culture, being safe, having the rules in place for protection ...nothing I will find by attending a weekly meditation it just couldn’t offer me the same serenity

My income too is for life, So I am at a very opportune time to discover this. Even if I choose not to handle one more dollar oh well but if i discover I dont enjoy them then I  have the ability to hop on a plane if need be and come back to reality.
I am a strange raver as you can tell lol 

I don’t know if I will come to any conclusive results in my meditations this week

I guess we will all see

I like how this is developing though *smiles*

Take care of yourself

-          Shaun A. Delage

  

tinker trot

No better time than for a universal dispatch than now

This past week I have been job hunting, man hunting, and in the middle of my own personal retreat.

I have also been dealing with the roller coaster of marijuana and the flood of emotions and the paradoxes of addiction

While it is nice to be me, I find in hunting for a job there is not much I can do.

My dexterity haunts me. I mean I cant serve coffee because I will spill it on people and I cant do tasks that require dexterity which is like 90% of jobs out there

And for those that don’t know I am a suicide survivor and along with my schizophrenia this loss of dexterity due to a serious self inflicted suicide attempt leaves me completely detached from the system

It is almost like I am forgotten within the matrix, an exile.

It is easy to get swept away in things i like to do like writing and art and virtual worlds

Part of me wants to blend with reality a bit more.

In hunting for a man, I don’t really think there is anybody with the qualities I seek...Family just visited and I observed the relationship dynamics at work and I question whether a man is right for me.

I don’t want somebody to defeat me or whatever at every turn.

I kinda want somebody that sees me as their equal

So it has been a wild ride on ascension. Not much planned for the next week except the GYM and chillen and reading some of the conspiracy novels I have.

I have been taking a break from writing my sequel because of the loss of 15 chapters

I am kinda grieving

Life is tough for me at the moment , but it could be alot worse

I mean when you live in a society where all of your basic needs are taken care of. Why complain ?

Be at peace with your existence.

I have faith in the future, that the world will open up to me as well...not just countless others.

Just have to be patient

-          Shaun A. Delage

THEY ARE BROADCASTING AT THE 666 megahertz soundwave alien communication at ALL times.

Xeno Comics- necronim series

I wanted to showcase once more the comics i have made with a special software remaining pop art of the new millenium ...the software is now lost so they are rares now yum yum rare virtual comics yum yum


this is the Rev. Kai and myself series , in case you missed these last week ,  I made these when I was the gay husband to rev kai for 3 months in a gay sex blitz in second life. lol