AppLe LollYpoP

My path is vastly different from every other persons on earth, but my ability to relay some of my lessons better help and aid others I feel. Lately I have had the fortune of reuniting with some of my rave family from 18 years ago, and I think to myself, god that was eighteen years ago, and I think of the illusions of time and I have been flooded with memories of that time recently.

I was in a time of ignorance at that point, I was only selfishly driven through teenage ignorance and pretty damn vain, and the greatest lesson we all learn is that we all lose some of our youth as time goes on. So we can’t always rely on what we see in the mirror.

The greatest Buddhist lessons include that everything is in the mind. This would seem silly to a teenager whom is trying solely to alter their reality.

Well that time ago was chaos, and quite a bit of mystery in life, while some circumstances were solely related to the mysteries of life. I can say now that my future is a bit more predictable now that I am working with the mind to train it and to guide it in the direction I feel is best for me and my family.

When you are that young you don’t worry about things like retirement, vet bills or even your credit rating. You go about life burning bridges and laughing it off, and only begin to reflect on the harm you caused decades later.

One of the greatest manifestations I live by these days in reflection of my teenagehood and young adult hood is the process of asking for forgiveness. I don’t ask people to forgive me, unless it is needed but I ask the universe for forgiveness and I also ask the universe that I may begin to forgive myself. I think this is a very strong process and I feel there were quite a few dozen times where I needed to BEG for forgiveness, and only one of those times will need a lifetime of asking for forgiveness for the harm I have done.

I strongly believe I wasn’t bad per se but I needed to go through the process of crime or addiction to better understand the process of forgiving myself, and ultimately letting the universe dictate whom I will receive ultimate forgiveness from. I don’t want to go heavily into my stories and such but some of it was just pure insanity like stuffing 10k in my pocket that didn’t belong to me x5 or selling drugs at raves or hurting a friend and even kissing a girl while I was so fucking high I didn’t have a clue what I was doing lol but when you work with the mind you begin to understand that life is not paying for your mistakes but what you can learn from them.

My path of crime leaves me battered and torn and ashamed because I was so good at it, and I wanted desperately what I was void of, that being wealth and prestige. So the harm I inflicted on others was shared in the same sense because the universe was very very cunning to allow me an equal dose directed my way probably times a thousand (x1000) so I was not equipped to face some of the challenges that came my way at times because of how naïve I was.

I swear some of these old pensioners living on $800 a month must chuckle as a hybrid 19 year old walks by with a 20k credit limit on their visa cards sitting in their back pocket, with a designer $400 dye job and Vuitton sidebag.

Thankfully Buddhism found me when I was most suffering, and it allowed me to calm my racing thoughts, take care and control of my destiny and allow me an ultimately free and ever reaching tool to enlightenment being meditation, because I have probably spent countless lifetimes dealing with all this nonsense and no tools to stop it. What used to amuse me when I was 19 was a $400 buffet breakfast with 4 hot guys (two being twins) lol and now the funny things amuse me the most like finding out an old friend is doing well and is in a fortunate existence away from harm, or taking care of a cat and feeding it medicine, or giving squirrels some seeds and cranberries.

To say that I have come 360 degrees is an understatement because it involves a fractalized sacred geometrical 4-D shift in thought and grace. A life void of illusion is a beautiful life indeed.

18 years seems like a long time, but when you think of it, the memories and events are virtually timeless and I only want to shape the next 18 years into something woven into a gay fairytale

-Shaun A. Delage

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zen fight

 

Recently pondering my last purchase in great depth, spending one hundred dollars on a ticket for a hospital lottery in todays economic climate seems silly to most but to me it is all encompassing

I welcome wealth into my life and material possessions and have grown very used to having the bare minimums, using Buddhist monastic life as a key to living I find is essential to a persons growth

I view monastics as complete lunatics now for forcing themselves into a subservience of sorts but I can relate being obsessed about the idea of monastic life to the point of me becoming a forest monk boyfriend

I laugh that the introduction to my forest monastery was complete opulence and it was, not many Buddhist monks get to make croutons and pet felines and drink wine and talk of far off lands or surf the net tucked away in the middle of a loft in the furest

Part of me came to realizations in the furest that it was a manifestation of my reality in a sense but as well it was a manifestation of my greatest needs, to be loved, to be cared for and to live in solitude

I was literally obsessed with the ideas of monastic living to the point of exhaustion saying well if only I become a forest monk everything will change.

Tapping into my inner nature I discovered that isolation to that degree and enlightenment like in that regard did not necessarily agree with me and I know I embrace my inherent citizenship in the matrix

I believe you can oppose the system and still be apart of it, making conscious decisions to affect change

So when I think of people literally laughing at me for spending my last $100 on a lottery ticket I only say that it is a fragmented investment in my ultimate reality because unlike the 6/49 or lottomax numbers- which everyone dreams they can win the 50 million I can visualize my lottery win in the form of me living in the house with the suite, essentially creating a reference point

I am able to go inside the house thanks to the virtual tours and visualize myself living there not something you can imagine with the mainstream lotteries and besides the odds in a hospital lottery are 1 in 118,000 when the odds of 6/49 are 1 in 14,000,000 and lottomax are 1 in 28,000,000

Not saying people don’t win, people win every week but it is by fluke essentially and I figure since my odds are greater, I don’t smoke pot anymore, I have no children or responsibilities and I have been entering these things non stop for about 10 years, matched with the fact that I can visualize the win, and my inherent degree of luck – I barely walk out of the casinos a loser usually with $1000 or greater in my pocket but also we have very very short lives here dictated by forces we cannot control and me in part I want to affect change in my reality and one of the ways I can do that is by using something I am sure can affect change in my life such as this

While everyone is fiendishly paying $100 a month at $2 or $5 a pop on 6/49 or lotto max here in Canada

I am spending that amount on my ticket for the hospital lottery which makes sense and in a sense it is a genius idea being regulated in its own regard but not every country has hospital lotteries nor do united states hospitals require any fundraising efforts with the state of health care there...

While it is nice to dream of my win in a house on main street with a suite and a garage I can turn into a coach house and $200,000 I wholeheartedly believe me winning $50,000,000 would be dangerous

I need to have something to show for my money in the form of an investment or whatever to make sure I don’t succumb to the temptations of wealth and I have been introduced to those temptations in my reality in the form of observing heroin addicted millionaires on yachts abusing fifteen year olds or for example vice presidents of banks that attempt to give some dirty little thief HIV through infected initiates or hostile ambassadors that take their angst out on twinks

I have seen and observed the trauma state of wealth and to tell you the truth I don’t really want any part in it but I know I am destined to come into many many millions in my lifetime with what I have been shown and what I have observed and essentially what has happened to me

But I want it to be on my terms, not dictated by an evil mysterious cult or selling my soul in a blood oath or having to submit to some gross old koot as a sugar daddy lol sense my frustration haha

So I am happy living with very little and since I don’t succumb to the slave state and the solar sun cult I have no visible distinction in reality

My reality is formed through creative will and the amount of untold karmic balance I have as a world famous occultist of the church of techno and essentially that is what I am because my experiences are unexplainable and lay within the realms of mystery and esoteric natural harmony

Then I lovingly explain to people that my former incarnation was female and involved within the highest realms of the eastern star cult but I lost my life in a horrific sense and vowed to right the wrongs of my ways of inflicting harm on others and work to affect true change and true enlightenment on the world in entirety   

My goals are not that of fame or wealth but to invariably enter singular conciousnesses  and affect true change and in a way I do that but I also welcome a lot of pain and hurt and hatred into my life so it takes great skill to release that negativity from my soul when in effect it latches on like a gelatinous alien and just sucks energy

I just had somebody with the first name mason talk to me in second life and I have to say this is a funny notion because I have always crushed on this guy who was another avatar and he has since contacted me again and I have pondered the fact that my soulmate may be an initiated sellout in a sense but why would I hate what I have no idea of.

While I may wholeheartedly oppose secrecy I am not closed to the idea of being matched with somebody involved in their own mystery of life on their end of the spectrum two opposites may attract and in a sense be a union of opposites but essentially isn’t this what love is

While I may oppose freemasonry I am not opposed to the idea of loving a freemason in a sense and I know it sounds funny and ironic given my own interactions with most of the grand lodge of the BC and Yukon and I have no doubts in my mind I am in a sense probably one of the only honorary masons in my region that far supersedes any of their grand worshipful masters based on a quotient for incarnations and incarnated souls and soul swapping and soul harnessing and the fact that I remain dimensional royalty

Ah the ego of the aries and ah the ego of the priest and prophet of the church of techno

Now can you see why they are so desperate to keep me poor in abject poverty and addicted to things like marijuana? This post serves as a reminder of my inherent natural wisdom state without clouded thoughts and the ability to traverse the astral realms and have romantic encounters with very very powerful astral entities

 – Shaun A. Delage

Feature Exhibit - Shaun Zeno ^.^

Cathy O'Brien MK Ultra Survivor - edmonton 2006