I know now if i wanted to i couldn’t be accepted into a slave role in society after some pondering and the actual courage needed to drop off a resume. In some ways my resume is somewhat egomaniacal with doctor and reverend and CEO etc lol
I guess in some ways i am meant to do what i meant to do in an artistic sense...i am beginning to believe there is no work out there for me that i am capable of doing thanks to my history
It was immense the feelings i got to delete my captivation piece and blog for fears of my employer finding out who i am
In some ways i can feel the luciferian mind inside me at times controlling me to do things and to think in certain ways and in some ways you feel this when you look at somebody and think something mean like oh god he is so huge or look at her she is very ugly
This is not your own doing but the nasty vibe that controls your thought process
Because if your thought process wasn’t controlled to a certain extent we would all be artists and living in an age of enlightenment and smiling all the time because you are in an eternal bliss state unlike anything anybody presently could obtain
This is very much how i look at the world. I have been in an intense state of introspection and meditative trance for about 10 years now. Of course i am seen as somewhat ‘weird’ because nothing bothers me really
I mean of course i am human but i am able to recognize bits of humanity everywhere i look and see others
I think of all the reasons to want to be employed then i think of when i dropped off my resume and the girl told me policy about following up etc
So i felt like saying, so you want me to stalk the manager? LoL isn’t it enough that i made notice that i would like to be employed by your establishment you have all my info why not make the effort to actually pick up the phone and call meh
Of course i would need employment in a place that has compassion for me as a person and likewise me with them for their path but also one where i don’t have fears of my hand shaking and spilling a hot drink on somebody like at sen5es the nazi bakery
In some ways i would be quite the risk to be employed because the cultists would find out and swoop enmasse to the joint, in some ways it would be good for business but in others being one of the most famous theorists in Canada currently and in the future has its drawbacks
Some of us were born to be artists i guess
My book and my art are coming along
Everyone i talk to does not inspire me one bit to finish the book, or praise my efforts which i find disheartening i find it funny though that possibly my book is somewhat of either a threat or an enlightenment tool of awakening so i keep going and obviously people can see from my writing here grammatical notations in my writing is not one of my strengths but i say i am a writer and not an editor lol
I don’t even want to research what it takes to sell a book when completed because i simply want to finish the book ...i know i will need a publisher and literary agent etc
That is if my art doesn’t get snatched up by a super gallery hehe for the time being i am ok with bringing it to the avenue of second life, because that is where most of the essentials in the art are from but the highlights has to be my tinkertotz
I look around and realise that in my own impressionable reality i am somewhat detached from mostly everything and that i probably could never lead a normal life again with the amount of drugs i consumed and other events and occurances including sexual mind games
But i just know that i am doing ok currently and i will be ok and that is all that matters
In some ways a workplace could use a doctor of divinity and a representative from the virtual church of techno but in other ways i know the system most likely wont let it happen
Enlightenment is something not to be taken lightly because there is great objection and opposition everywhere you look. It is harsh to be able to say i am an enlightened being
Because people assume you can breathe out rubies or touch babies and make them instantly grow into adults or turn coffee into wine
You may not even have the desire to change people, nor even the need to socialize...perhaps choosing the least social method and the most detached ideological method to bring enlightenment to people.
One where you don’t feel you communicate with other souls
You may not want to speak to others or shake their hand for the pain you have gone through
But i always look at these discourses as me in a room full of people perhaps a few dozen per week
I don’t force anything on you and i leave it up to you when you need a break and when you need to escape the church of techno to ponder a theory or return to you normal mode of thinking
Perhaps you just wanted to feel what is going on in somebody else’s mind for a few minutes
That to me is enlightenment and the virtual representation of true ascension.
I ask my guides to show me the way and what i get is a nice crow one of the only animals that doesn’t have gender specific titles such as chick bull or cow associated with their sex lol
I was in a huge city roaming around with some chav boy he was so hot and he dropped me off at the hotel i was at and we switched phones his was brutal old and mine was new flip out keyboard and yea he left me at the hotel the whole night and i was scared he wasn’t coming back he gave me a keychain to the hotel but was more of a motel when i got there and passing the time i sat around and smoked marijuana lol i was going to report my phone stolen but was on hold so i walked to a cafe to chill and the lady took my giftcard and it melted so she said she would reimburse me
Later on i went back to the hotel all night and then the stud came in in the morning and i was scared and laughed at me for thinking he abandoned me there he handed me back my phone and me his and his fell apart because it was so old then he invited two other chav boys in and they all went in a coffin and came back out again smiling and i knew it was my time to go
So the crow took me to another city i had been injured like stabbed or shot in the left inside of the elbow so i went home drunk with some people and they wanted some chicken so i went out and gave them some and was left to peel my shirt from elbow and the dried blood from my skin i think the people wanted a BANK card too but i was unsure i was so focused on my wound
The crow took me next to a bridge
When i was walking a-cross it a guy in front of me reached into a bush and pulled out a large eel or snake and threw it on the road with a thud and the thing was freaked and it started to slither in fear and it got hit by a car and i started to cry because that snake was probably sleeping just a moment ago and it slitered off wounded to a corner where i told a group of guys what that other guy did to the eel and they said yeah bro that is pretty sick and sad too i mean the creature was probably content and he had the gull to include me karmically in his actions
Waiting on the starlit street for the train to come and seeing people stare all around
Nobody really knowing where you reside
Or where you come from
Yet wanting to figure you out
Or perhaps wanting to theorize as to what your next plans are
Lets get this party started
Because what a boring past decade it has been
Lets get this party started
Before we all die of boredom
- Shaun A. Delage
