Wandering the matrix of cruelty
I look around trying to inform the beings around me of what constitutes cruel and unusual torture
But i also know those closest to me and around me at any given time are subscribed to continuing my torture
Not only this but they all seem to allay a fact that they are struggling financially when they are heavily financed to continue my psycho torture of the cruellest kind
I look at myself in the mirror and think wow i am pretty damn cute how did i get so cute? A spectrum of karmic deeds and well, happiness
But i also know that i am a monarch programmed presidential model sex slave and anything that is in resistance to this model is going to be met with warfare
I am prepared though
But i also wonder to myself when my torture is going to stop
Because i am tortured.
Those around me are illusion even those closest to me
Everywhere i go i am surrounded by the cruellest beings in essence
I am in a military controlled safe zone
My every movement is tracked and recorded
Not only because i am seen as a threat but because i threaten to not only bring my entire country down i threaten to bring the entire system down with it
What do i want ?
It is simple.
I want to be in love. Not cruel love where i love endlessly but get nothing back but psychological games
I want a love that smiles at me and tells me how much i mean to them
I want medical marijuana, not just to feel the effects but to heal with compassion and guidance for it is the only substance on earth that impedes these cruel psychological neuro games that people enjoy playing on me. and to assist me 2 manage some lifelong medical conditions.. which is best not to be ignored medication... that will essentially heal those symptoms for my VERY long life.
I want all of my relations to be freed from captivity
And i want a global age of enlightenment to occur
I have to think to myself i don’t deserve love and i don’t deserve to be happy but then i remember that this whole essence is my LIFE
That i am included here that i mean something that i matter
It is known that i have issues relating to people and that only very very few people are in my circle
Those people in my circle are troubled with me but also troubled because they cant relate in any way because they were never built with the capacity to relate
I don’t understand this and i find it especially hard to figure myself out while most of these beings charged with my care are specialized into a core belief that is systematic to warfare torture and making sure i am suffering at all times
I am thankful in ways that i am able to experience independence being almost a year single but i look back and realise that the past 28 years however serene it has been has been in a virtual prison with albeit a few distractions and familiar faces to help me contain my inner angst
I not only need to be set free
I crave it
I look at my country as a giant reality that is super imposed on me as a system of structure yet when i think of itz complexity it is simply as fragile as i am
And it is simply being propped up by those that are keen in world domination
Not a domination of countries or states but a world domination of singular independence
And the belief of helping those come to an understanding of what it means to actually experience freedom from slavery and the freedom from the pain of continuing the torture on those that you love and care about
I am pretty free yet completely constrained into a life of solitude
Now i am so comfortable with this life that it is the only one i know
I hear of others that are very extroverted and easily relate to others and have fun with groups of people
Mind you those individuals have always had issues relating to me as a person so i find the illusion in everything so to speak
Really when i look at my country and my world
It is really 1,000,000 sets of darkened out eyes staring back at me a sole individual wanting to be free and wanting to be in love and wanting to live a relatively peaceful and harmonious existence with the rest of the world
I always have that threat of i could lose everything
I think of a few places i could go if that happened
Mostly it would be retreating to a place where i am with people of my own kind rather than modern warfare for example i find no solace and no love out here so i will be happy retreating to a life of contemplation and enlightenment and no hair and no men and no technology
I am already enlightened
I don’t need to subscribe to a faith or ism to be put there
But i also know that if my broken heart continues on the way it is
I will be left with no other options but this one.
I chill out casually by the beach writing my poetic lick dreaming of him
Dreaming not only of the millennia it has taken to reach his souls
But the abilities that we could learn from each other
I think of my first meeting with him, over espresso then a walk by the water
Then i just smile and think that he is cuter than i thought originally
And then we move in and fall in love and just love every second with each other
I dream of finding the inspiration to finish my book
To bring about my own level of global enlightenment
That i essentially come into contact with my multi millions of dollars
I think of how easy it will be to say to him, you can retire.
I think of how enjoyable it will be to me to tell some of my closest relatives that they will never have to work again their entire lives.
I think of how his smile will find meh
I think of adopting a kitten and it would be ours
I think of all the peoples nasty looks as we walk by beaming
With a ring on each others fingers
I think of the wedding that day by the water in the gazebo
With huge streaming fabric blowing in the winds
And i think of the kiss that would say you are joined in the eyes of god
I think of everyday working to make him feel like the most complete person on the planet
I think of the mistakez i made in the past that would make me believe i cant do it
I think of how much i would matter to a soul like this
And most of all i think of one thing,
How much effort i put in to be the most complete person
So that i may offer him a lifetime of peace and a blissful existence together.
- Shaun A. Delage