What a strange time energy wise, I have always lived through
adversity in a rather spectacular sense. Sometimes I feel defeated, not
successful enough, non materialist, non conformer, and yes sometimes I do wish
I was able to ‘belong’ to the system more.
I guess when you exile yourself for a decade you tend to
really understand what you have missed, not a pseudo prison sentence per se but
a time of introspection and restriction. You observe in others what qualities
you despise and what qualities you admire.
When I feel like this, I like to think of the path of
enlightenment but more so what would the path of an enlightened being look
like, and I only need to replay a few years at a time in my head of my own life
to come to terms with enlightenment and the nature of a very powerful entity on
earth, that has nothing.
True at this point I could pack up and leave for another
continent with a bag and a few Buddhist statues lol there is also a sense of
success with having very little, and people with me are simply shocked that I
do not amass material treasures and hold down a stable life.
I find it easier to have a partner, and in finding my
compadre in the forest I didn’t want to settle for a man with simple qualities,
I knew he would have to be of a strong nature to understand me, and highly
intelligent, psychic powers, and a character that can best only be described as
somebody you would find on a rainy street in the apocalypse with a smile on his
face.
We found each other and then two cats found us, so
surrounded by felinis energy.
It helps that he has a life and a place and a home, I was
rather lost. By understanding that perhaps I do need somebody brings great
power because you can start to manifest what you seek.
I try and come to terms with what kind of a being I am
everyday, but everyday that passes by brings new evolution and progress. The
loss of a pet recently made me think about the process of grieving, loss, and
evolution even more.
Many young people live very fearful of getting old, and
wasting away. And being alone.
I think of an enlightened being constantly, are they able to
regurgitate information on cue, do they have loads of money, are they beautiful
with abs and pecs, do they live in a castle or penthouse condo.
I think of myself when I think of this type, and everyone
should, although not many strive for enlightenment in life. It may be a rather
egotist pursuit to dream of being enlightened or to see oneself as enlightened,
I just think of how close I came to being a Buddhist monk yet have every door
shut in my face, truth is I am a pseudo new millennia monk
Inventing ones own faith does bring a sense of satisfaction
in life haha I only need to dream of how it would evolve if given the material
means to evolve and I am in a world of amazing lucidity
We are in a time of great upheaval, and spiritual awakening,
spiritual progression and growth
We have dictatorships all around guiding us in legality and
we have a place to live that to some can only be construed as 4 walls and a
roof painted white shining so bright it’s hard to close your eyes… jacked into
the interhuman superhighway of digitalis, reading other peoples impressions of
the world so that you too can garner some sense of reality
That....and the, inquisitive nature that is guiding us all to the
answers, who am I and why the hell am I here now, for this and for what?
We almost feel cheated that santa isn’t being driven around
in a motorcade surrounded by bodyguards, almost cheated that we were lied to for most of our infant life of the nature of our most treasured holiday or someone thinks that I cannot for
the life of me remember who I was in my past few lives, I have no idea where I
am going, or what happened 14 days ago, I have no idea what the next year is
going to be like.
Some of us can go to psychics and palm readers and only come
out with a multitude of more questions.
Many people feel cheated in a way of what they see and
idolize as success isn’t happening to them. These people are almost willing to
do anything to have a lil adoration or a camera lense focus on them for some
time. Truth is we are losing people every hour to that darkness and the people
that cannot live with restraint and that need that constant adoration are being
whisked away into dark rituals and things so unfathomable we cannot really
speak of them with any light shining on us, it just doesn’t belong.
I figure the way to real truth and real evolution and
happiness is to guard the nature of your soul at all times from walking away
from it. To truly assist others in their struggle for life as much as sanely
possible with no expectation of reward. To live a little haha eat a marinated
steak once and while and either despise the process of death for bringing this
hunk of meat to your lips or relish in the delight of pure satisfaction that
you won’t starve to death, not today. But also to meditate on the nature of
your soul, where are you going, and to attach to some people so much that they
will remember to advocate on your behalf when they cross over to the other side
or be there when you do, to welcome you to another reality.
This is something I struggle with on a daily basis, lol not
for the faint of heart but I believe in things like alter realities, other
universes, parallel dimensions, heaven and hell, astral, and divine.
It is funny to be a matrix warrior about it all, I mean I
have a sense of right and wrong and god and devil but almost guard my attachment
to those with my life, so many are putting their blind faith in two words, god
or jesus. It fucking mystifies me, that 7 billion people or so believe in this
in one form or another, and I feel like shaking people like your effin religion
was created by a super secret all male fraternity to hoard wealth under the
auspices of black magic and incest.
LoL
I have discovered that even orthodox Buddhism has flaws, and
what a strange religion to belong too, but I have tried to belong, and have not
gotten anywhere, so out of my own frustration and need for expression I created
the church of techno, which might I add is difficult to define with no god, no Buddha,
no jesus, no bible, only a pseudo Gnostic meditation rave schizophrenic male
art church of virtuosity.
I am thankful that I am able to live in this time of
awakening, this time of the pinnacle of humanity, a time to walk into the
future and be greeted by some who have been waiting for you this whole time.
Welcome to 2012, but onwards to 2013
-
Shaun A. Delage
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