What anybody wants is to be saved from their own inner turmoil for another hour. This is where the truly adept and gifted mediums broadcast their expertise in allowing people a distraction or an avenue to direct their focus.
Much of my latest angst comes in the form of where my life has taken me, and i don’t know why i have so much angst i mean i am not aligned with the system very much ....don’t subscribe to 9-5 ritual and i swear i couldn’t if i tried i mean a month goes by for me in a blink of an eye
I don’t understand it though but part of me wants to be a slave and in a sense i want something to do late nights but there isn’t many places that hire for graveyard shifts here
I think of where my life is going and my direction and i already have some key avenues being explored.
I enjoy leading this blog and keeping people up to date with my soap opera of universalism and my enlightened discourse
Finally all the feelings i was having of taking my church offline have vanished and i cant believe how much loss i was going through with the vapourization of my virtual life.
I am beginning to put the pieces together again and yay all is well
Sometimes i feel the blogs name should be church of schizophrenia haha but i found church of techno to be more fitting because of the immaculate concepts that techno and universalism have in store for all those that seek its enlightenment and much of the enlightenment is in the moment
Just by luck some random name (program) finds my blog on jan 14th at 11:52pm and reads a few postings and carries on. It makes me even wonder man haha
The love for the virtual surfers empassions my survival
Yet I have everything i need around me, a roof, some clothes, some gadgets and stuff to keep me busy and a few meals to enjoy and some money in the bank so why bother getting down over it all
I guess in a way i want somebody to share it with but not seeing anybody that thinks like me or acts like me in a sense gives me much needed angst because i wonder if i could meet somebody on par with my enlightenment but on their own path and rightfully so i have
But most people i come into contact with don’t have any depth or form
I mean there is no individualism other than what they parrot as automatons of the system and this i guess is my calling to get inline with more artistic people but unfortunately my chosen art medium at the moment if purely graphical. I have been wanting to explore painting a little more but i am waiting until i get into a bigger place for that. I had a vision of my art piece it would be a painting and then one of my male art pieces glued into the middle on a placard of sorts
That would make for some beautiful and trendsetting art
Many artists cannot survive solely on their art, you need to keep yourself fed and the bills paid to help stay alive. So this is the true struggle for artistic expression. Is being able to explore your artistic side at your own will. Much of us are not left with much time to explore our creative sides, most of us are lucky to spend one hour in art.
Much of my day consists of meditation, writing/editing, net stuff, reading, cleaning/cooking/bathing etc lol and i hardly have enough time to do either and if i was in a more slave role in society i know i would have no time for creative pursuits but not many can write a novel in just over a year like me, because i have the time to devote to such a cause. If it doesn’t get published until i am 40 yrs old then so be it at least it is typed.
Part of me doesn’t feel almost 30 either hard to believe in a few months i will be 29 and i see some people my age that look in their 40’s and 50’s and are losing hair etc and i wonder what i did to stay so youthful, maybe not attesting to the slave life like most. Staying up at night, Having almost zero stress for years upon years and then throw in the karma which surprises me, because if i was so karmically abused as to have serious things happen yet be blessed in the looks dept makes me wonder about karma specifically
I only drink wine and smoke 420 maybe twice a month each and i don’t smoke cigarettes and eat pretty healthy these days, but that wasn’t always the case. You just never really understand how lucky you are in some departments until it is yanked away from you cruelly.
So providing a basis for growth is my only directive. While working with what i have and what i can obtain in the moment is also a wise choice. Many just get stuck in a common repeating cycle.
Others don’t know how to gain more experience that will lead to employment, this can be easily overcome by doing things like volunteering and personal development
Others don’t understand how to get out of their current cycle and into a new one
Which troubles many and there is usually a complex coding to do with lives, this is how the power structures that be control independent lives and independent thought is by locking them into their own personality types outcome. While nobody wants to just settle for what comes their way unless you challenge yourself you will never break out of your own programming
This is where much of my aries qualities come into focus by going into the unknown challenging ones belief system and throwing away everything at times for a fresh new start
While some would probably not want to look at their boss as a half reptile i cant escape that thought sometimes so it would be a challenge for me not to say “i think you are being controlled by invisible beings” lol
So i am here doing what i love and also dealing with that in the moment vibe and when anxiety or stress hit i can always go back to my awareness of the breath above my lips to really focus on the fact that nothing is permanent in life. That there is an always ever changing wheel no matter how much it is engrained into us to believe in ritual and commonality
There is always some time left for you to explore the unknown and be first to do something
And to seize the day , seize the moment, break out of your programming and into another vibe all together and really challenge what you think of yourself and others. because the matrix cannot tell you who you are.
- Shaun A. Delage
