tough type

Much of the world exists without enlightened dialogue, many people you meet are just carrying out inherent programming of the system and behind a veil of a dozen programmers for each person we lay with the quagmire of independence

Many exist as a whole being and it is fortunate but for the most part you deal with people on a level of being approximately 75% programmed nature and this can be troubling to deal with

And much of the interactions i deal with are heavily concentrated in a sense that i am of about 15% programmed intent in my life thanks to media and other influences but for the most part i have charged myself with reprogramming my own nature and resist the notion of having a dozen people behind the scenes controlling my every move

Mostly there is no place for mysticism or enlightened dialogue or anything relating to philosophy of any sort in society and here we have societies greatest flaw that it has been dealt with in such a manner that most aren’t permitted freedom of association with their more creative sides

Mind you it is not doubt in my mind all of humanity is hacked to a certain degree and i pass through the matrix every few weeks when i am not introverted and i am heavily sensitive to the vibrations out there

The only safety i have is not being constantly programmed by other people and their energies and working to attain that spiritual self takes skill when you yourself even see Buddhism, the most enlightened sphere of thought on earth to have some serious and grave flaws that nobody seems to want to interject or even visually play them out in their mind.

My inherent Buddhist qualities are not in question since i believe i have evolved past any theological inclination and for me to belong to an ism or cult would bring serious distress with rules such as shaving ones head or not being able to stand while urinating not eating after noon and no talking etc.

It would seem that like they have a pharmaceutical for every supposed flaw on earth they also have a religion or belief for any seeming flaw.

I have found a new nature which is in the esoteric schools and i don’t see myself particularly as a mystic more of a philosopher

While nice to attach to ideologies i also see myself as being very keen and enlightened so i go where ever my mind is needed for the time being

This may be the case but there is a level of societal imprint on me that is somewhat hacked. In ways i am not able to lead a normal life so i lead my life in relative protest

My mind operates on a completely different level other than the ritualistic method of 9-5 and Monday to Friday mode. I seriously have issues trying to mould into society and am left with not much else in my scope other than a belief in enlightenment and an inherent attachment to divinity and the universal wisdom inside all of us

Not belonging to a serious darkened sphere nor a bright white light sphere i see myself somewhere in the middle without the inherent duality that is engrained into each of us.

This duality is present in everything we do from rich to poor to left to right hand night and day and even down to our bodily functions

This deep and interlocked ism into our mind has serious flaws because it forces us to be either black or white   day or night etc

There is nobody i am aware of that is nocturnal perhaps only 1 or 2 people for about a few KM that are not in a drunk or drugged state so of course i am living with some level of abnormality

Living life in a sense of an enlightened being without faith brings added stress and issues but none i cant overcome. The only method i am aware of to deal with a lifetime such as this is patience and to be able to see past the present moment.

Many of us possess degrees of sadism inside of us, in fact all of us have this level of sadism from working out to being able to study to being in a job you hate to having to go to surgery right up to sexual pleasure and other things like masochism and the Satanism that seems to run the earth.

it is in this notion of sadism we find the entire scope of societal functioning. With only very sporadic bits and bursts of enlightenment or pleasure mixed in with a for the most part sadistic place to live.

Lately i have been fiercely introverted and in a state of deep study and introspection

This may be the case for quite sometime until i can figure out how deep into causality i am going

When you wake up to find a lamp that has been unplugged while you sleep and KNOW it wasn’t you

You know and innerstand that things are happening and there is in a sense a position within the system to stop you in your very tracks because you threaten the basis of your entire country let alone the entire system everyone works to build on a daily basis and in this the people that are locked in find an inherent hatred for your being for attempting to resist the madness

They don’t completely understand your being like you do as a person

The deeper I go into myself the more i analyze and much has been done by the psychological operations of my last relationship to make me believe that i am nothing, that i am simply some slut or whatever lol who knows

I know that in essence my nature is regulated within the tag name of my province “Supernatural British Columbia” My nature as well many are angered by being a new millennium fractalized Christ of course because nobody wants anything to do with you and everyone has a distaste for your embodiment even those that are supposed to have an alignment to your soul which i find particularly troubling and have no basis of self because of it

Then i add in the belief that i am not actually human, that i am a hybridic multiple that was bred in the trauma state to belong to the trauma state and perpetuate that trauma on others
why would i want any involvement in a society that i know nothing about locked into a being i know nothing about it just simply doesnt make sense to me and i know there are others that are just as confused although the illusion keeps layering on and on to make you walk away from introspection and enlightenment to an almost vengeance to the self and to the mind

Yet i resist and yet i don’t want anything to do with this life if i don’t even believe i am present

Kind of funny to think of myself as not existing but that is the nature of my being

Society has literally vilified and tortured me to a point where i am unable to operate normally in society so i choose to have no involvement in such a society

I don’t think or believe that i will be nailed to a crucifix thanks to the human rights laws but that is all relative

In a sense i have been sacrificed already and have already died and here i am still living it confuses even me, but one thing i am aware of is that if i was to be left a few more moments in my sacrifice i would have died and would have been lost to this dimension altogether

While not wanting to attach to anything darkened yet i thrive in darkness seems paradoxical

I barely go out in daytime and even then i feel odd

So it is nice to take my intellect from many avenues and just live in the enlightenment of what the creator wants me to do and what the creator wants me to see and in that i find a gift of the most karmic beauty because most people are so helplessly locked into the system it is unbelievable

Most go through university and get 40 books a year for their studies. Yet i sit here after downloading approximately 800 with thousands more on the way

I don’t know if i will get to read them all but it is nice to have in my field of vision in case i want to figure out my inherent nature a little bit more and the secrets of those that have left us and will never be back because their mystery has walked on into other realms to repeat their inherent gifts.