They tied me to a chair and paraded me across a college in a masonic mega ritual with my wrists slashed in a foreign country at evergreen state college due to advanced radio broadcasts and a cruel beautiful bf's freemason MK ultra mind control -I actually suspect I died in this foreign country at that point and crossed over but there are also several other times it could have happened and I was like 15/16 at the time it seems right about the time I detected the energy shift in the reality in totality it became way darker way more cruel but the raver world I was in was fruitful aloof and seemed to go on forever possibly thousands of years
been struggling so much with meat eating past year or so like ethically it seems right to refuse it all right like ok but then I figure out oh I will buy some meat cause I enjoy it and all then I see a meme I posted a few posts ago about chickens and it just puts me back into that horrible brutality of the meat farms hell slaughter network all of us are hooked on and I am like holy fuck I DO NOT want to support this shit with my money so I totally decided that if I am spending money I will not spend it on meat unless its a social thing like a holiday or birthday meal like steak for someone or something like as a treat or prawns or take out like this chinese meal for example lol so this cuts down about 70% of it and then I am like well donated meat is not that bad if its reclaimed from the trash so its kind of back to my 50/50 kind of thing like I will still eat the donated stuff and not spend money on it but like if it is a gravy or something then not gonna freak out and cry or anything hahaha I just think this is something for each soul to either ignore totally and deal with it later or battle it in the present and stop the hell dimensions in its tracks and stop the countless lives you are taking with your addiction to chewing and seasoned flesh I figure since I struggle with this its best to choose the middleground but each person is different like some may do 100% vegan I could not live like that hahaha
“Personally, I think it’s a shame that so many years ago you decided to withdraw from public life (I believe since 2010 or 2011, right?). Don’t you think the world needs enlightened beings like you? Don’t you feel any guilt for having abandoned human society without lending it a hand?” Question from Nancy Carrera Prabhuji’s response: I understand and appreciate your very human sense of longing. After having served for more than thirty years—speaking, accompanying, pointing out, teaching, provoking, and holding—and precisely because I came to know human dynamics up close, I reached a practical conclusion: from 2011 onward, for many people, my public presence is not what’s most useful. Freud described a structural discontent in civilization, and that discontent is not resolved by attaching oneself to providential figures. Modern human beings do not need gurus or enlightened Masters as sacred crutches. Winnicott argued that maturity involves being able to be alone without collapsing, and that capacity is not built through dependence. I often see that many people arrive without prioritizing awareness or truth; they arrive seeking a sedative, relief, a way to stop suffering. And that is not adequately addressed only through retreats, courses, lectures, or classes: it often requires broad professional help. I try to be clear and direct: contemporary human beings carry wounds, trauma, anxiety, addictions, depression, and overwhelm. And many of those wounds come as a legacy from previous generations—people who raised others without the necessary tools. When someone is drowning, they don’t need a lecture about water; what they truly need is a life preserver. At this moment in history, for many, that life preserver is called psychology, psychiatry, therapy, clinical support, serious treatment. Sometimes the life preserver may be called medication—not to drug people into sleep, but to offer them a minimum ground from which they can walk. When I say I am not necessary, I am not speaking out of false modesty: I am speaking from experience. I have seen the law of the pendulum: when a Master appears, the public may idealize him and, upon feeling disappointed, demonize him. Then, even what is well-intentioned ends up feeding dynamics it was trying not to reinforce. I do not feel guilt, because guilt often functions as a way of pushing someone to occupy the role of savior. My retreat was not out of indifference. Sometimes withdrawing can be an act of care: it avoids reinforcing dependencies and helps each person look at their own life more honestly. If my presence is turned into an excuse for others not to look at themselves, then my supposed “help” stops being real help. When I speak about the need for psychologists and psychiatrists, I am not denying meditation; I am only placing it in its proper place. It seems to me that it is better to first heal wounds and bring order to the chaos, and then, if that time comes, meditation can bloom like a carnival and not like a desperate patch. Spirituality should not be used as an ambulance for psychological first aid. Spiritual seeking is the perfume that emanates from a more balanced and grounded mind. I have not “abandoned” humanity; I have stopped feeding the illusion that someone from the outside is going to save you. Lacan formulated that there is no Other of the Other, and that formula cuts through the fantasy of absolute guarantee. Understand that the true hand being extended is not that of the enlightened guru or the awakened Master; the authentic outstretched hand is the one that returns you to your own responsibility. If the world truly wants transformation, let it invest less in temples of spiritual spectacle and more in mental health, emotional education, accessible therapy, and healthier human communities. And if, in future generations, human beings mature, only then will meditation be a genuine carnival… Nevertheless, right now, for many, before any carnival one must learn what is basic, what is elementary: to breathe without panic… to feel the body as home… to look at another without trembling… to look at oneself without running away.
I aim to have my karma liberate (financially spiritually and fully) about 24 souls from samsaric reincarnation cycles this is a gift to my mother for her sacrifice and instead of bogging her down with my karma like alig or some others I aim to do the opposite and its like so fantastic and beautiful that only a son could do for his mother and its rare let me tell you but the number could possibly be higher it could be thousands or possibly an infinite number like anything is possible hahaha
fuck me $6 a fucking draw for 1 -4 number play with 1-52 numbers ? I love how it used to be $2 and 1-49 numbers and they sneak in an extra number to totally decimate your odds of winning every update but fucking $6 - like there was a time I could play every draw but now can only afford when its near the top of the prize and play all my other addiction in gambling in the provincial draw which is $1 per play and I win $10 pretty much every month and could win $2M which to me is totally reasonable if my income improves I dunno I may not be so dramatic but $6 for one play and they butter it up like oh you get a better prize and way more stuff to hope for and you will find a new houseboy and afford all these sex toys on your yacht etc etc lmao
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you would think I am bored sitting in my room all day for 23 years lol bills are paid art to make things to tend to if I am super bored time to read some of the 5k books I have or meditate to techno or do contests or blog or go in SL or do my budget or my lottery budget or do some art maintenance or write some barron sex fantasies or chill and do nothing and listen to ambient sleep music its great I just love it but I am trying to get busier with work and volunteer stuff responsibilities and lessen addictions at least to the point where I am able to eat and afford one or two trying to manifest things and have come super far with gambling smoking and making a life for myself life is good it could get a lot worse but it also could get a lot better with a lot of hard work and compassion just even quitting smoking for 7 months is an act of mercy ahaha paying rent every month having a month off weed or being able to afford some fruit are some pretty awesome life steps I am fortunate to have a good life cause not everyone has this I pass by some souls that have lost it all -not going to take them under my wing they have their own issues to deal with and I am sad for them but I dont feel guilty I want to get to the point where I have a few toonies to give out if they need them and some better crow chow than cat food like cashews and croutons or something lol hahaha like its just the little things being thankful you have a meal tonight or a healthy sexuality or you are not slave to a toxic mate or several addictions
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