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BREAKING: Fox News reporter tries to argue that green is blue in a stunningly stupid attempt to defend Trump’s useless $15 MILLION renovation of the Reflecting Pool! Who are you gonna believe? Trump, or your lying eyes? Trump Derangement Syndrome is very real – it just affects Trump's own supporters and renders them incapable of believing what their eyes are telling you. In today's episode of "What if 1984 was REALLY stupid," a host for Jesse Watters show informed their viewers that the clearly algae-filled green water in the reflecting pool was actually blue. "I'm here at the newly renovated reflecting pool. It's painted American flag blue. The Democrats will tell you there's green algae. There's pool guys cleaning it up. No other president would do that!" YOU CAN SEE IT'S GREEN IN THE PICTURE BEHIND HIM! Also, we’re pretty sure EVERY president had guys cleaning the Reflecting Pool. It just goes to show how little Trump has accomplished that THIS is what Fox News has to talk about these days – doing damage control for one of Trump’s self-aggrandizing vanity projects that backfired in humiliating fashion.

 

The Brief and Bulging History of the Codpiece Fashion history is full of strange ideas, but few are as memorable—or as boldly specific—as the codpiece. The codpiece first appeared in Europe during the 15th century when men's tunics became shorter and hose covered each leg separately. This created an awkward gap in the middle. Medieval tailors, confronted with a problem nobody wanted to discuss over supper, invented a fabric flap to preserve modesty. Thus, the codpiece was born. At first, it was practical. Then, as often happens with fashion, practicality wandered off and ego took over. The codpiece's rise to fame in the early 1500s coincided with a much less glamorous development: a devastating outbreak of syphilis across Europe. Contrary to popular myth, codpieces were not little pouches stuffed with herbs to disguise suspicious odors. They had a more medical purpose. Syphilis treatments of the era were notoriously unpleasant. Men were often coated in mercury ointments, medicinal herbs, animal fats, and thick poultices applied directly to infected areas. Bulky codpieces helped hold bandages in place and protected expensive clothing from medicinal stains and bodily discharges. In other words, one of history's most famous fashion accessories may have begun as a highly specialized medical wrap. Of course, Renaissance gentlemen were not about to admit they were essentially wearing an elaborate first-aid kit. Rather than hiding their codpieces, they enlarged them. To offset the embarrassment of medical bandages, fashionable men padded, stuffed, embroidered, and decorated their codpieces with jewels, lace, and horsehair. What started as a practical pouch evolved into a public declaration of virility, masculinity, and confidence. One of the most enthusiastic codpiece ambassadors was Henry VIII, whose portraits suggest he regarded subtlety as a personal weakness. His codpieces became so prominent that modern viewers often wonder whether they are looking at a king or an aggressively self-confident geometric shape. Men were not bragging about having syphilis. Quite the opposite—they were trying to conceal symptoms and treatments. But they were absolutely bragging about what the codpiece symbolized. The larger and more elaborate the codpiece, the louder the message: "Pay no attention to the medicinal bandages. Instead, be impressed by my magnificence." By the late 1500s, fashion changed and codpieces gradually disappeared. Yet they remain a remarkable example of how human beings can transform a practical solution to a medical problem into a competitive fashion statement. History, after all, has never met an awkward situation it couldn't accessorize. Image: Francesco Terzi (c. 1523–1591) Archduke Ferdinand II of Austria, c. 1565 Oil on canvas On display at Ambras Castle (Schloss Ambras), Innsbruck, Austria (Kunsthistorisches Museum collection)