Entering
the matrix without understanding the matrix
people placed around you in a more knowing impression
nothing to be feared, just something to be cautious of
I see myself in him at 20 yet haven't aged a day
now age wise I am an old dinosaur to him
funny people see us together and imagine us to be in highschool
candy rave meets rayban
I want to show him, my ways, my theories, my being
yet a lot holds me back
I know he only wants to be enlightened
to not feel lonely when surrounded by people
more so to be set free from an internal prison
people with chaotic looks around you making you feel horrible
looking in his eyes I see enlightenment
I don't want to freak him out
but I understand why were both here
why we both met however odd it was
to me it was beautiful
to him, it was digital
hoping to find the best of them all
in some ways I am perfect for him
in others I could never be
in some ways I could do whatever I could to make him happy
but something he needs to understand
which many don't innerstand is the need to temper materialistic desires
many many people cover their own internal pain with beautiful shining things
it is best to live simply I am sure he understands
the thoughts surround me of who he will be in 5 years
the thoughts enter my soul of what i can make him into
the thoughts enter my being of what he can teach me
What he will make me into most of all
I imagine myself combing his hair
cutting his fingernails
making him dinner
pouring his glass of water
brushing his teeth for him
washing his arms in the bathtub
holding him in my arms
the gazebo by the ocean with 15 foot fabric shoelace like flags blowing in the
wind
slipping the ring on his finger
him slipping one on mine
understanding that there is a bond between us
being with somebody that is unloving doesn't work for us
this being I see before me
an old soul, we have hooked up before
both in youths bodies
in some ways he has it better together than i do
in other ways ....I am pretty ok too
I think of us, then I get a pang of worry like what could I offer him
I only know this,
with love
anything is possible
I could achieve anything
I could do anything
I could be anybody
I could be with him
of course he has to want it
I want it
we both have to be confident
in some ways I have evolved massively since
age 20 in other ways I am still 20 yrs old lolz
I just know....if he was to be with me.
He would never have to cook a day in his life.
I would make it my goal to make sure he doesn't have
to work another day as well.
love takes time
trust takes time
bond takes time
union takes time
enlightenment takes time
but it is everlasting
saves the very nature of our being
from imploding
and self destructing
I look on his eyes and see much
I am sure he is aware of me on some level
much will be made apparent
the choice lays with his soul
I read thru his blogs and imagine
some twisted boy threesome covered in cake and chocolate
my mind is pervy
I am happy not wasting my time on people that don't matter
i'm happy making sure I am the most calm person in the world
so he looks forward to seeing me again and again
because that is all he wants
some boi that understands his struggles
I can't say much that will change his life forever
but i can be there to offer the most beautiful soul on the planet.
the only true nature of love
I only trust my guidance from above
wanting us both to be mostly free of
I walk over to him and hand him a kid glove
he looks at me wondering if it fits and says kind of
I asked him if i am something to be proud of
that the world sees me something to be rid of
or that my voice is something the matrix is sick of
I want to slip on his hand a pervy suede glove
wondering what is in his mind and what he'll think of
naturally figuring out what he will conceive of
touching his fingers through the hand and glove
never wanting to see the end of
his beauty enters my soul like true love.
the very being is just the epitome of cute love
the workings of the boy that will just be the most awesome being to enter my
sphere
I have so much to learn from him
will he let meh?
with each other anything is possible
two books finished submitted to publishers with a sense of self
