Virtual Ministry Archive

I don’t usually make posts like this on my page. But I’ve been watching the discussions on my feed over the last few days about the Cornell 7 case, and seeing the cold, dismissive reactions from some men in my own circle forced my hand. I’m speaking on this not just as a survivor, but as someone who is PREA-trained and has worked inside the correctional system and in various healthcare settings with patients after assaults. I know what forensic protocols, investigative standards, and institutional accountability are supposed to look like and I feel like the ball was dropped in Ithaca. Growing up and living in Appalachia, this reality isn’t foreign to us. In close-knit communities, sexual violence is often treated as an open secret that everyone knows about but nobody talks out loud about. The pressure to protect "good boys from good families," like local athletes, or influential names usually takes priority over protecting a victim. We are told to keep our problems to ourselves, that "boys will be boys," and we watch people look the other way because it’s easier to protect an institution’s reputation than it is to hold certain people accountable. Looking at what happened with the Cornell 7, the zip codes and bank accounts might be different, but the playbook is identical. These young men came from privilege and status, but lack real confidence. Entitlement often masks a hollow, fragile ego. In their group chat, they treated a young woman’s arrival like an open invitation by using racial slurs, bragging that she "won’t be walking tmr," and announcing "free p**sy" to their frat brothers. That is not "flirting," and it’s not "a party that got out of hand." It is the anatomy of a pack hunting a vulnerable person they viewed as property rather than human. A lot of untrained people are circulating her morning-after texts to claim "she consented". If you understand acute trauma, you know that’s not what that text is. When someone wakes up disoriented, terrified, and piecing together a blackout night, reaching out in an appeasing, polite tone is a recognized survival response called fawning. It is an instinctual attempt to test the waters, keep yourself safe from retaliation, and try to normalize an unthinkable nightmare. Notice that even in that text, she specifically calls out that additional men were brought in and ketamine was involved. She went to a medical clinic with the clothing she wore, only to be told to seek therapy. She sat for a grueling two-day interview with campus police that produced over 100 pages of statements, only for them to hand the prosecutor a 6-page summary. The university initially gave some of these men the chance to "mitigate" their behavior by writing an essay. That is risk management protecting a brand, not an investigation seeking justice. To the survivors on my page who have been reading the headlines and feeling that sick, familiar weight in your chest: I see you. Your freeze response was valid. Your fawning response was valid. Your fight response was valid. Your confusion or delayed reporting was valid. Do not let people who have never spent five minutes studying trauma or reading the actual court documents convince you that a pack of cowards had a right to take what wasn't theirs. For anyone reading this that might be confused, the #1 cause of grape is a Grapist. It is not clothing, not whether or not a woman was drinking. It is not where someone was walking around or if they were alone late at night. It is 100% the responsibility of the person who committed the sexual assault. The survivor has no ownership in it at all. None. It's not a question. I am posting the primary court filings and text evidence below for anyone who wants to see the truth before defending the indefensible. Note: I will not be debating basic human dignity, consent, or legal procedure in the comments with anyone. Treatment of a human is not up for debate on my page. It's really the only rule I have.