I see other religious people totally ok with their faith yet
wanting or needing to kill hundreds of thousands of animals mixed together
sometimes to nourish themselves and they are going places but I want to make
choices in my life that make me as a soul go way higher than the rest not out
of ego but its where I belong
On a daily basis I go between ww3 & Nwo mode and then my
productive creative side that is happy with technology and I have to remind
myself that sometimes may it be illness or whatever that I am constantly
fighting off occult possession its kind of accumulated energies over time tons
(millions) seeing my content at this point and the energy has to go somewhere so
apart of samsaric life is going between these moods and lunacy on a minute by
minute basis and just working with them -people in ur life change family
allegiances change moods change animals come by that are hungry a few times
each night -things need to be done and attended to on an hourly basis -see its
funny I was set free and liberated from the working life able to live a
spiritual and artistic life drawing credits from my own corporation haha I get
paid generously – I just try and work hard and give an effort back to the world
that is 100x worth the money they give me and I am thankful – it has been an
endeavour the past 24 years or so on disability just staying sane seems to be a
challenge but I have meds that keep me on the good track kind of an advanced
form of nootropics for geniuses I am on about 5 ish psych meds and you would
think I would be a zombie or out doing weird shit like playing with myself all
day but like its deeper than what the world feeds us about psychiatry -the
world is filled with horror stories about psychiatry victims but thankfully my
care was about 60% ok and respectful but I found the hospital stuff like 20+
years ago to be brutal and now since I have thrived to a superb level kind of
some of that is wanting to stay out of that place but I also learnt what would
happen if I ever came off the meds.
I see so many people online that desperately need the level
of care I got and if they got in the USA it would have been like $90,000 on
hospital alone let alone all the meds this whole time
Just coming from a life of trauma through teenage years and
chaos into a world where I feel liberated mentally and make for the most part
sound choices of my own accord. I find I have discovered that I can work in
society and if forced lately have worked to become skilled in various areas
that I can fall back on
I see so many around me trapped in a hopeless existence of
addictions and debt who am I to talk right I smoke now and sometimes dabble in
the herb but I am working right now to get rid of coffee and that has been a
challenge I never realized how much it has been apart of my life like planning
to go to starbucks before I volunteer and a few hours later remembering wow I
don’t drink coffee anymore hahaha thankfully starbucks has some iced black teas
hahaha just being off slots for so long
I never thought I could rid myself of that addiction I was winning so much but
also I knew I was out of control like spending money that I wrote myself a
cheque to clear the next day etc or my last $5 its all laughable now but yeah a
lot of the people that I see are really into the booze I never got into that
cause it runs in my families so I also recognized that weed makes me do strange
things sometimes but also gives me a great creative push and helps me do things
I never even thought of and sometimes I do need a reset due to stress of either
that or 7/G of mushrooms to kind of put me on a new path its all so funny if I
think about it all this stuff would have put me away for a long time south of
the border hahaha just leaving meat behind has been interesting but one choice
I am fully confident in making I see small lizards and random birds and animals
and just think of the hundreds of thousands of these poor things trapped in our
hell slaughter houses and I just cant let it continue since 90% of grocery
stores are meat they make it so anonymous and you like never think those
chicken fingers could be like the meat of over 50 birds in your meal and its
like holy fuck plus I am a buddhabody and so a veggie life will be good for me
hahaha I think it affects us in more
ways than they let on.
My life is safe protective and liberated I am finally in a
place of freedom and non co dependence and finally able to guard my own
existence which means having an emergency fund and making sure I have food to
eat and things to do- I just have always had someone around its just kind of
funny to be liberated from all toxicity for awhile and just be in a safe space
my one corner of space in time and all known space hahaha
My skills life has been intense to kind of let draw out
never did I know where it would all lead me when I started the building service
worker courses for 6 days now I am arguing with the housekeeping tech people
about a refund and I don’t want to deal with them anymore just a bunch of goofs
About a month ago I completed basic security training but
opted not to become a licensed guard or anything it was interesting
In sept I am due to start Diversity equity and inclusion
university level course (2 terms-about $1800) and also a working with the
homeless sector course (few months) it was free for people in my area
In the new year I want to take a 10 hour course on being a
human rights consultant is only about $240 but is USA based so who knows it
just looks pretty cool hahaha
And also around that time when my federal disability situation
is all figured out I want to start into about 2 years of schooling in emergency
management -it will be about 2 or 3 years of schooling by the end of it I will
actually have a bachelor in this that transfers into an income but it would be
neat to be able to strategize for my fellow canadians through adversity and
chaos since we are all well aware by now that there is going to be no shortage
of work in consultancy for emergencies with politics -world events and forest
fires for example – I figure by the end of it all on a $29,000 set of courses I
will only owe about $9000 in student loans which is doable
My income is due to pick up due to the disability kicking in
on a federal level had to get my Dr forms filled out that was like $450 for
rides and forms but I would get a lump sum for the last year that I was
eligible and additionally $200 extra a month in the canada disability benefit
which is indexed to inflation on top of my pension and also my working income
and stuff including debts this will all really help
My goals have been nothing no clear path no set objective I
just kind of narrowed down everything that seems suitable for me to do which is
not much hahaha
I hope to work on my care app a few days a week then obtain
a few days of night job as a janitor in a facility or condo or something really
cool I knew this I where it was all leading but taking the security course let
me in that I am keenly interested in protection and legal stuff and continuity
of human and civil rights and society -just based on how much I personally have
suffered in life its only natural that I would choose a semi legal career that
would aid others in a civil destructive scenario they would be like oh there is
only 30 people here right now that have this level of credential lets call him
in hahaha it will be nice to get the prime ministers alert 24 hours before apocalypse
to be aiding people in the camps or something who really knows but at least it
gives me something to do -learn a new cult of understanding and find my path –
I always want to win the lottery -both $2m and $90M but I also realize I have
been manifesting for 20+ years and have to make realistic steps in the now to
make my life work I guess its what we are all here to realize
-xoxo