so much change in my own life this year its funny but it could be worse I could be in a stagnant realm just trudging along with nothing happening tomorrow i get a delivery of lunches for my 2nd course and then day after do my 2nd course which is hard floor care-this is what i lacked when I worked at the church was a knowledge and confidence in how to properly strip and buff floors hahaha its going to be really cool to be a provincially accredited janitor and I always thought obtaining a security license would help my chances at being employed as an executive janitor at a bank or condo for example its all so cool and I almost just gave up and did nothing this year hahaha my chaotic indecisiveness has cooled down a bit since I am so busy which is nice haha I figure having a real life job will help me out a lot with my side hustles not having to sacrifice things financially etc but like I do my blogging about an hour a day usually and it may be a 50/50 split of my content vs my consistency with posting that will be my success a lot of blogs are irregular with posting but I set a schedule for all my normal blog posts and keep to it daily in fact I look forward to it because it technically is a job for me things like my irregular posts I just post as various times through the day and no I dont just sit at the computer all day I would be handicapped if I did that lol but i need to do about 1 hour on and about 20 min laying around listening to affirmations or buddhist dhamma talks or housework its so awesome so much happening in the world a lot of cannibal shit with epstein and I kind of knew the gravity to these peoples satanism for quite some time because I have studied freemasons in great depth but like in some strange little way I am protected by it all by being an outsider and in this is comfort I just find that by growing your own life tremendously it keeps you busy enough to not focus on all the fluff and just check into the world once and awhile and be like holy shit and go meditate to deep sonics and like just detach from it all and be like okay I am important too because the world will always be insane and tough to keep up with but the ignorant masses that just parrot oh I dont have time for all that its like time for what to make sure you are not going to be eaten alive lmao like check the news once and awhile dumb dumb I have been quit smoking for about 6 months now lost count it feels like this is it finally after 30 times trying hopelessly to quit and due to finances I had to scale back ALL my weed smoking I miss it but like I gotta eat and survive too not just smoke meh nootropic all day its like this gurl needs steak and fruits throughout the day my home life is super cool bought a ton of stuff to make it more appealing since I am at home all the time anyway and have been doing a few 3-4 minute exercise bike rides thru the day and already feel the change in my energy levels and body chemistry its great in the past year I think I lost about 20 lbs could even be 25 but like that was not even trying just living on rations and mostly vegetarian haha but I had to go back to some meat for my own sanity more like 90% meat eater now and 10% vegetarian hahaha problem i had is I actually figured out I hate vegetables lol like would rather eat them in a powder like some people are obsessed with cooking with them but they just make me mad all of them so I guess that goes out the window lol I am in a time in my life where I have a relative level of security so I am using this opportunity to better myself financially so that I can make it lasting and if something happens to me at least I will hopefully have an emergency fund or be employed or have some level of safety to make a change and carry on with my life- someone online accused me of being a maple maga the other day I was like wtf because I made a comment about seeing a picture of carney with epstein like it really makes me wonder about people and their various cults of personalities and shit they believe in is so silly like will gravitate behind ONE MAN and defend him till the end of time and nobody has any relative idea who the fuk he is at the freemason hall or on his downtime this shit just astounds me lol it can be frustrating its kind of a lot of parallels I deal with in my waking life with sexuality and other things it all just makes me laugh like having 6 PhD’s but hopelessly pursuing work as a janitor hahaha life can be so funny sometimes lol due to start volunteering at a neighborhood house near me, passed their advanced police check and it reminds me that i am thankful I had the courage to turn my life around otherwise these opportunities would not have been open to me its going to be great to have a bit of responsibility and structure again in my life the society allows young families and fathers to cook together and take home rescued food for meals to assist their families and they do a lot of stuff for local kids in the area its a really great community local centred society I feel good about helping weekly also a week after that I am going to also volunteer in something in my direction which involves hygiene insecurity its a super good charity that makes me feel so good about helping them out once a week eventually when I am confident professionally and have a few people that know me that can attest to my work ethic I will feel confident about finding employment again hehe should be fun anywho my journal entry for the day have a great day blogbuddies