I see a lot of guys at the blood place when I am getting checked every few weeks like they are kind of "obvious" a few months ago there was like an older daddy and I was like oh wow he must be rich and wealthy just the way he was dressed he was kind of easy on the eyes and then today there was a hot bear and I was like wow i could just mate with him anally all day or something but like what peaked my interest was he was born in 1994 and I was like wow he is like 14 years younger than me and he looks a bit older than me which was funny the lord is making them tasty lol but I know I would really struggle having a normal male partner just being asexual and nobody really wants a romantic friend its just funny to be a normal gay male human deep down inside somewhere and also a gay asexual alien of sorts that would not mount guys endlessly its just funny to observe the self and brain as an urban monk and a sexuality etc just makes me laugh like at least I try but I know I could not really do it all and am setting myself up for solitude as a buddhist monk but its a lonely concept and terrifying but one I am open to- people are like well if you close yourself to love there is nothing left but like great power can be had by going at it as one too like I saw a dude about my age carrying a baby and I it looked like a heavy baby too and I was like ew no ick lol just wonder about people sometimes what a tough life its honorable and all to have a family just effin difficult I bet like emotionally and financially I cant even really have a cat cant even afford one lol let a lone a baby or kid or husband maybe a rodent or something but even then if it needs surgery or whatever I would feel bad putting it down lol