“Neither plague, nor war, nor small-pox, nor similar diseases, have produced results so disastrous to humanity as the pernicious habit of onanism(MASTURBATION!). Such a victim literally dies by his own hand.” — Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (Yes, that Kellogg, 1888) Ahhh Moral Panic and Penile Peril and the Victorians. Bless their repressed, hypocritical little cotton socks! The 19th century were trussed up in a straitjacket of moral panic. They had a mortal fear of touching oneself and they melodramatically and 'hysterically' called it 'self abuse.; Let's talk about the true architectural marvel of Victorian sexual control: the male anti-masturbation devices!!! And my current favourite one to talk about- the anti-masturbation corset for men. This corset often far more frankly, ball-achingly awful than a boned prison for the female rib cage. These weren't about fashion; they were about averting disaster of God forbid! touching your own penis! The medical establishment was fuelled by the terrifying writings of men like Samuel Tissot. Doctors decided that the loss of 'vital essence' (semen) through masturbation would lead to everything from insanity and blindness to consumption and a decidedly unfashionable early death. The diagnosis called spermatorrhoea had overlaps with the female diagnosis "hysteria" and the cure involved a lot of metal. The Corset/Cage was for the more comprehensive fear of a wandering hand. There were the elaborate metal cages or canvas body suits with locked plates (the so-called "corsets"), a full suit of restrictive sexual armour to prevent any accidental midnight hand frolics. The Jugum Penis was a truly wretched steel clip with serrated teeth, designed to clamp down painfully at the first sign of an erection. Sweet dreams, indeed. 😳 The Stephenson Spermatic Truss was essentially a glorified pouch strapped to the leg, sometimes with a delightful spiky steel lining to guarantee aversion therapy. Because nothing says 'I love you' like a painful wake-up call. What makes this chapter in the history of sexuality so exquisitely ironic is the sheer energy and inventive sadistic genius poured into torturing the penis for the sake of 'virtue.' This isn't just prudery. I see it a testament to the powerful and deeply flawed, belief that sexual control equates to moral and physical health. The Victorians were masters of projecting their own anxieties onto the most private of acts! They created a market for these sadistic appliances that shamed men and enriched the quack doctors and charlatans selling them. They sought to 'cure' a perfectly natural human impulse with fear and excruciating pain. So, the next time someone tries to tell you the Victorians were all about damsels in distress and fainting couches, remind them that the gentlemen may have been sleeping in a spiked chastity cage for fear of accidentally fondling themselves into an early grave! A lack of orgasm was apparently far less dangerous than the possibility of pleasure.