I realized I had two options 1) being broke as fuck and paying down a card to the point of handing it back 2) richly poor and able to enjoy my xmas & new years -honestly I chose to be kind to myself and just be in debt like everyone else lol just having no food or weed is like worse than a buddhist monks xmas lol I tend to ignore the things I actually do for myself that have merit like last month paid $700 on a credit card to lower it to the minimum which is why I struggle this week for a few lol of course me I want to turn it into a 96 day dhamma retreat of fucken hell lmao