You wanted an American Pope, this is what you get. Earlier this month, priest-turned-DJ Padre Guilherme celebrated the 75th birthday of the Archbishop Bernard Bober by throwing a full-on rave. Emceeing the event was the Pope. Yes, really. Imagine Project X, but the “X” stands for Christ. The event, which took place at an 14th-century cathedral in Slovakia, featured an introduction from the new Pope Leo XIV. In his speech, he didn’t mention the pumping beats, flashing lights, or anything, you know, rave-y. Instead, he kept it simple with a message about coming together and “[living] the Gospel with enthusiasm.” The rest of the rave went off without a hitch, with Padre Guilherme laying down some over-the-top trance tracks with the blessing of the big man himself. Strange world we’ve living in — but if the choice is between raves and crusades, I’m choosing raves every time.