we are all here to learn and make many mistakes
I have been really going from extreme to extreme in my mind regarding a plant based diet and it has been troubling to follow because even I cant make my mind up hahaha but what took me switching to a plant based diet was having a meal of lamb lol I dunno why on earth I ordered it I have never liked it but yeah want to eat like the rich and I think lambs are pretty innocent and cute so dont even know why on earth I would want to eat one?
I think its part of me that is like well its donated meat so it doesnt matter
and another of me is having one last week of meat stuff before I switch to a plant based diet
it will be fun
I have been preparing myself mentally for quite some time since I restarted eating meat about a month ago after 9 months of vegetarian
now I am kind of in the phase where I dont even want to eat cheese or eggs or anything due to the chaos it causes the animal
its up to each person what they want to do with themselves but a few meals of the really gross lamb and I am like ready to swear off meat lol I dont mind alternate meats like ostrich burgers or goats or would even eat elk or duck if it was around but not after next week
I was really struggling with walmart how they offer very little options for vegetarians and it seems since yves stopped making mock meats nobody cares anymore like 99% of wal mart is meat its their main selling feature
so I am going to migrate over to a better grocer in my area that has a lot of veggie and vegan items and get off the sows train that is wal mart
but also start developing a love for vegetables for nourishment
say goodbye to cheese due to the rennet and say goodbye to the eggs due to the unfair practices they make the hens live through
it will be challenging but its my path
and I noticed that gets rid of about 99% of all delivery meals hahaha thankfully in my area of victoria bc this is the most vegetarian and vegan friendly place in canada and the west coast
I really like a lot of veggie dogs kind of my mainstay and granola and almond milk mix in some hemp seeds and a handful of nuts cause I am nuts lmao
I find so much of this place to be so challenging on a day to day basis so whether I chose to be here or I am forced to live here against my will I will make the most of it -I find being a spiritual advocate for peace seems a good path but I have suffered so immensely more than some rich person honestly just day to day so I am able to better instruct people how to live their lives in relative peace….
So much of this world right now is chaotic and brutal and a lot of it does not matter to me….I mean sure I scan the news but I have grown used to just closing it all down and meditating for over an hour to techno or working on my poverty budget hahaha or planning out my future lottery win for the 80,000th time or sitting in my recliner with feet up and doing some twinks art or writing bizarre commentary to random pics on twitter its funny I just imagine how many people are swept up in all this chaos magic day in day out and not me, I am too driven.
This xmas is shaping up to be a broke xmas lol but its my own choices that led me here not out of lack
I want to totally have full control of my finances in the new year and that makes me live 1 month 1 week in relative monks world it was tough the first few weeks like getting out of all the comforts I am used 2 like herb and endless dairy and delivery well not endless but yeah what got my mind started on it all was eating fruit for a couple weeks it was such a nice treat not one i have had in a while like I take a supplement but yeah when you do that you tend to really crave them and I was like well if you want this every week or every odd week some changes are needed to start the year with a clean slate financially
it will be pretty cool
then I can get my bag of fruit via the low cost charity every week if I want hahaha
one month no weed no xmas no turkey no life no anything
I am left to be an urban monk
I dont even know what my connection to xmas is its the nostalgia but a lot of it is so fake like family and gifts and dinners it just gets nauseating after while it will be nice to have a monks xmas for a change :)
I really want to start using about $100 of my income to get an ounce of silver every month - its something I have thought about for some time and when I have around $300 to spare then a small piece of gold hahaha so much of our money just flies in and out of our hands and we dont think about it
and so many of us investing in things that does not make sense like mainstream investments ROTH IRA s&P like me I want something I can hold and cash in
not some fiction lol
its funny even people invest in a months worth of drugs but they just smoke through them lol people would be astounded with what I have to live on its around $2000 and I even heard some people on the bus a few years ago that said he could not even live on $6000 a month lol it made me laugh -like I have always had the monastics as a guide to life like imagine living on $0 every month !!! not for me!!! I do love my cheap ass herb to smoke hahaha and the occasional shroom reset
but I do like building up my metals a bit cause its something that I cant easily cash in to do something impulsive but there is that ability like wow I have to pay $2000 for this how am I going to do it oh I can cash in my stash I have $3000 worth lmao
I never liked stocks or anything not even crypto I kind of liked domain names cause they are like the lottery hahaha but like if I ever came into some massive cash I would be a very weird rich person and invest in 100k of 25 year proteins instead of throw it on the stock market hahahaha or just buy a ton of old rave flyers or some strange soviet coins lmao a lot of my thinking processes around meat are vast but sometimes I think of this feline in front of me and appears like she has a beautiful soul but on some level is a level lower than me on a reincarnation so my mind is like well what did she do to be born a cat and sometimes I have to stop and think like maybe they wanted to be a cat lol but a feline is a meat lover and generally assumed as quite lazy guess its reserved for those that sleep their days away I just want the next 10 years to be really fortunate karma wise not just layering on years and years of dead animals heaping onto my samsaric difficulty hahaha but we are all here to learn so many are okay never working on themselves so they will be stuck forever repeating the same lives and yes I have to admit I love a few boneless seasoned wings or a burger or a steak but it does not mean I have to eat them all the time I just figure at the end point the less karmic baggage I carry the better off I will be-so many are frightened and fearful at this time- there is a lot to be frightened about and I dont blame everyone for their emotions in wanting the cycle of nature to reveal itself if I could relay that switching to a plant based diet would help lol but I dont start till next week lol or lessening how much debt you have that fuels this murder apparatus or halting your train of thought to almost nothing in ur brain -or not expecting another human being to be your literal sex object your whole life but I dont have all the answers since I am trying to find them it will take awhile but I will try and write them down as my epiphanies hit to better serve my readers
let it be