oh wow the matrix can be humbling lol
Was sitting pretty on a credit score just below excellent made a few enquiries and shrunk a card and it sank 47 points lol
my ultimate goal is to have about 3-4 $300 cards but to do that I have to pay down one card that I charged up mostly on meals lol it was nice to treat myself but I can shrink the card by $700 if I pay it down in next two weeks
then I am going to focus on on my koho card they get you to take out a bunch of debt and make it sound good but they have all sorts of strange rules like some of this money is transactional so not cash like fuckers thanks for letting me know lol
the 2nd card is not that big of a deal will get it sorted by xmas a new years like $300 in a pay later scheme thankfully I paid half of it off already and they have this overdraft that I talk about being only transactional of $250
its fucken funny cause I have to get the card to zero then I am gonna cut up the card and leave them all these fucken hokey gimicks on that card I just cant use the card I found it is like gambling like I have to use a totally different main account cause there is no way to permanently decline their overdraft once it is offered to you and I literally have zero self control to tell myself no when its sitting there in your acct looking pretty lol
I can see why so many people are in trouble with money out there hahaha then you are literally a slave to it or you are just in some wasteland of no credit score lol thankfully the people that run these things allow you to fix it all we are not a bad as the US when it comes to debt we have lots of regulations etc SO I had lofty plans for all that money with holiday dinners but no have to trudge along but in the new year I should be sitting pretty again with my credit score back to sublime and my cards down to the $300 again was just approved for two new cards at $1000 so my first deal was to get school with them then I decided I hate that field of work which is janitorial so i lowered the card down to the minimum and charged the other one up a bit I figure I am gonna be in a good place with 3 -$300 cards I figure i will be able to pay off half of them every month and it will be so awesome
I dunno what my thinking process behind getting more credit was it was kind of like well if I can i can and yeah it was kind of a test with that high score of what I could get hahahaha oh well
art has been amazing I totally uploaded all my foreground assets to the internet archive I figure it will spawn a whole graphic design clique of like minded art and at the very least some really creative stuff
the blogs are doing pretty well for themselves its a bit much to manage 21 blogs every day but I am used to it its about an hour work every day and I just love it like judging all the guys that I put up and like if they fit for the theme of the blog I am posting hahaha just that and contesting and my podcasts and meditation takes up a lot of my day along with posting to X endless silly shit and my barron blogs are funny but oh well people are like oh you can be hanged its like bring it on lol
I find i have endless combinations of graphics assets to do my art its funny cause I just do each piece randomly and dont really think about it I just kind of find a background and a foreground and bam done yay
I find living with a serious mental illness to be challenging at times, its like you need to be medicated to exist or you are a danger to society and it also messes with your sexual abilities like traumatically not really worried about how i would act in the world but how the world is reacting to me living in it
as some of my readers know this whole time I tend to think very differently than most people so you could imagine i would be pretty stressed out with a total bafoon running the USA as opposed to enlightened leaders where you dont have to worry about things that much.
I find I lean strongly on the practices of techno meditation when I am void of a romantic partner like I do it to send LIGHT into the world and I also do it to protect myself and get rid of a lot of psychic fluff that gets attached to me on a daily basis its good when you have stuff out in the open to sweep yourself of negativity and work through some of that stuff so you can be a better person
I still think someone that is willing to take care of their debts in a couple months rather than just add onto it more or whatever is definitely how you want to work with that stuff
so many people are pushed into the nether regions of decades of debt trauma being in a literal wasteland of financial hell just to have it all go away magically
I find regular marijuana helps me with reasoning and decisions and just being at peace with the world day by day as it goes by
I struggle with concepts like did I choose to be here forever or am I here as a prisoner forever and it just drones on day by day but there are tons of far worse places than here where we could all be residing and in that I take comfort in
I love my door cats they give me a great sense of responsibility like not technically a full cat but enough of a cat that I have to worry about their food running out and its all so silly cause like they have their own homes and food its just now I want to put a guest litter for them out so they dont have to stress out lol but they go in the garden in front when they are in a bind
part of me was in a real stressor world surrounding going to school for 6 days for janitorial and I just ended up realizing I hate the work to do as a job and it makes me mad I kind of fell into it with the church so did not seek it out lol
anywho hope all my readers are welll