Just kind of realizing maybe a regular/normal job is not right for me, I mean I am 43 and worked maybe 3 years total of that lol -I guess I am very very fortunate but you also become sort of institutionalized in the welfare state and unable to break free because you dont have that working ability or experiences or anything like not even a ritual to get up or anything- oh well I am always trying to better myself I just kind of realize its a longshot at this point to gain any sort of employment just worry about a strange sex scandal erupting with a boss or something ahhahaha oh well I thought cause i am 200+# that the guys would be grossed out but they want me even more lol but like I already work a few jobs anyway they just dont pay anything other than horny gay energies lol