Even occultists are unprepared for the current events we all face
Its a massive satanic conspiracy where they all make people assume they are righteous and just and wholly religious when its actually the opposite
with me personally I can kind of see why nobody would go on a serious 25 year introspective time of abject poverty to achieve their dream life…something not every individual life has open to them…a lot of my life goals were able to be realized with the help of a pseudo basic income that is normally not offered to anyone no matter what but under exceptional circumstances
so many toiling away endlessly on their bodies or at their jobs never able to really actualize anything of substance or magnificence and many are not open to a god level creativity that is tweaked by being a former raver tweaker -we would do about 5-10 different drugs a night and there was no danger back then only of the usual overdose but nothing you see like in the past 10 years or so…we were unafraid and I feel so many that I met at that time actually are not here anymore with us they are somewhere else -elsewhere like most of that time were slaughtered or eaten only a few indigo elders remain that are the story tellers of the candy raver scene there are rumours of a complete arachnid war where every single person was literally eaten at that time or a brutalist erasure and not much exists of that time period as they have grown meticulous at replacing our reality block by block of that period literally no evidence exists of the 80’s and 90’s
I have faint memories of that time and in my meditations I try and regress to remember small details other than the scenes I am used 2 and I cannot only the main or a few supporting scenes come up like I remember going to portland to meet a large male raver and his twink and remember staying at their house with a stripper and someone else but no actual memory of actual travel there and no actual memory of the day to day there seems like I was only there one day or something so this leads me to think about a lot of the memories I have and a lot of it is false or fed to me…it just did not happen the way I remember it people are gradually replaced on a cellular level so minute that they actually change beings over and over and what you are left with is not the same person you were with in 1989 that person was eaten and killed by the freemasons and was replaced with a reptilian or alien or whatever it is -they think we are all dumb fucks and have no ability to read emotions and energies -but I can see why -when one becomes absolute they would see all and just give up out of hopelessness and trauma
I spend each day kind of preparing myself for an arrest squad or something to come through my door at gunpoint -its not out of pure paranoia or anything like being into the meth when I was teen lmao its like dude you run a porn appreciation blog for the nazi presidents twink son lol so its almost expected but its also my internet activism which has gotten people that have done 1% of my stuff in jail or exiled but like I was pretty much this way for over 10 years since I started emailing my manifesto to some pretty crazy institutions part of me wanted a bodyguard or something and after a few weeks I was left alone to keep struggling and soon enough I discovered that nobody gives a fuck here and my life goes on -filled with insane solitude
but I will always be prepared mentally and psychically for anything to happen at this point even death
I just view my death as a transfer into the absolute a final journey out of this virtual world my number is called
I just strived to do 10 x more than some of the others that came before me to leave a lasting legacy for people to discover and find their own path
long ago I wanted to be a buddhist monk but I would have been a horror story for the monastery hahaha just obsessed with money and guys so yeah I have a super ego too so like would have been the last thing they wanted wandering around a monastery thankfully I found my way and its calm and chill and has cats in it that I dont have to own hahahaha
so many people are literally consumed for 30+ years in debt - I struggled with a lottery budget of $2M I was like well I can buy a condo and finally have a home but part of me does not want to go on the world cruises and find all the bitches and do the coke off cocks and like I dont want to do all the stuff normal rich people do like travel and own a huge oil tanker mansion
I thought for $2M I would simply stay where I am and kind of bling it out a bit and advance pay my rent for around 10 years and just chill and not really set out to be a home owner like I dont want to be tied down like that like I would just get a ton of stuff done in my current environment and yeah it would be pretty cool like just because you win a small amount in the lottery does not mean you have to upend your life drastically and do things like buy a home or anything like not for me-stories of lawyers stealing the entire condo funds and weirdos on the strata fining you $10k a day
I would rather keep the relationships I currently have and bling on my environment even more…
$50-$80M in a bit more involved
I would do quite a bit in charities that I like and do quite a bit on gofund me with projects that speak to me like animal intervention surgeries - people that want to leave abusive situations or trans stuff that is really getting to someone or like even silly ones hahaha like a book project or help someone that cant afford food but I would be able to help a lot of random people in a way that I cant with a normal charitable donation
but my biggest expense with that amount would be this one home I saw in my city overlooking a mountainous valley its haunting and evocative styling and very very stylish just the most incredible home I have ever seen just to live there and see that as a view would be like wow factor like I have those two plans and then I have my current life like if I could share tidbits about my current environment I would its just very nice and really stable and warm and incredibly comfortable and I dont really feel like I am tied down to someone like I felt before this stage like I have no idea why on earth I was searching for a life partner when I am asexual it did not make any sense like I must be so lost in my delusions lol time to grow up and live independently and become a man hahaha I still have most of my family on facebook but I cant help but feel a bit conflicted with how my life has gone up until now but there is like so much more to do in my day and so much more to worry about in the world so I find I just have to stay busy and keep creating to stay sane or I will just lose it and hopefully stick to my good life like not going nude all over the place these days so that is a good thing as nobody wants to see that - I am not a twink anymore lmao…
I think even trying to manage finances is frustrating for someone that makes 5x more than I do but I have always been accustomed to working with very little and am very grateful and hopeful with what I do have because I am confident enough in myself and my projects to know that all that will somehow change one day and its comforting and reassuring and a nice thought but honestly I do try my best hahaha with what I do have
lately I have lowered a few credit cards to their lowest amounts
and been focusing on doing all the proper adulting stuff like paying rent and making sure I can have some fruit around lol
just kind of been battling this one last debt source I am uncomfortable with which is my koho debit credit card its like out of control
see they give you your pay one full 12 hours early so that is super nice
and you can pay $20 to have a $250 overdraft every month but its only transactional so you cant use it as cash which does not make any sense
and I opted for a pay later feature which was like opt into a payment plan of $60.03 for like 12 payments and you get the cash upfront it was like what was I on lol
so gonna pay off those two schemes this month and hand back the card and decline to use it further because I dont have much self control with stuff like that and they know most of their users do not have that ability either
I had two choices 1) live an xmas of opulence and comfort enjoy a delivery turkey dinner on xmas and all the comforts I am used to or 2) cut all spending to an uncomfortable level of necessity for a month and work like a fucken rabbit on this shit and come out in the new year not having all this stuff around and a relatively good financial outlook and of course I chose the most difficult hahaha
I decided volunteering and job stuff is totally bonkers and just going to continue on as I have been as a creative for the time being hehehe its a nice thought to volunteer or be a janitor again but I was like nah
with the looming workSAFE BC case I am about to open it may mean some former wage supports for awhile in excess of a year so that will help and I can just save cash for a rainy day
past week I have been preparing my house or a new roomie and seeing the old one off that welcomed me here
it has been insane doing all this but its all good everyone that surrounds this environment is totally worth it and welcome
I am just astounded at how much like life energy one throws at life on a week by week basis and you literally have like no freaking idea what is going to happen in a week or two like even remotely it could use super human abilities for like 3 days hahaha oh well
I really like the fruit and vegetable charity I use -I dont really get their veggies I just find them to be really large or weird so dont get into them but I like the fruits a lot like for $25 + $5 delivery I get a huge paper bag with about 15 different fruits in it it was so epic and such a nice treat and half them were organic so a good deal hehehe
gonna stay with them for awhile
if you are at peace with yourself
you can be at peace with the world as well