BREAKING: WTF? A Republican Congressional staffer just got caught FAKING that she was attacked for being a Trump supporter! In a truly bizarre but all-too predictable development, it turns out the assault and mutilation of Rep. Jeff van Drew’s staffer Natalie Greene was all staged. Greene called 911in July, saying that she had been attacked by three men while hiking a nature trail in New Jersey. She bound herself with black zip ties and told police that the men struck her with a gun, had held her down, cut her body with a knife, and wrote “Trump whore” and "Is Racist" (are you kidding me?) on her belly. All of this was completely staged. Greene was found to have travelled to Pennsylvania, where she paid a body modification artist $500 to give her fake cuts using a pattern she’d designed herself; investigators found matching zip-ties in her Maserati. Investigators used cell tower locations to obtain video footage and evidence that she went to a Dollar Store in Ventnor to purchase zip ties. The New Jersey Globe reports that “Greene appeared before U.S. Magistrate Judge Elizabeth Pascal and was charged with one count of conspiracy to convey false statements and hoaxes and one count of making false statements to federal law enforcement, according to Acting U.S. Attorney and Special Attorney Alina Habba. She was released on a $200,000 unsecured bond.” Why she felt the need to go to all this trouble is unclear. This is only the latest in a long string of staged attacks by Republicans against themselves; once again, it is proven that despite all their hysterical claims about Democrats, the biggest source of political violence in America is the Republican imagination.