was struggling with what to do with new advancements in my life
So I was granted some credit and also a financing credit with a big company and I already have a small credit card of $300 which is nice hahaha but I was playing around online and decided to try applying so I applied to one and was approved immediately for $1000 and thought I would try another that said I had really good odds and bam another 1k hahaha
so since being approved I was racking my brain about like either spending it all or basically not activating the cards and immediately closing the accounts for my own sanity
it was funny to observe this in myself hahaha cause I was like well if I am gonna charge it up right away within a day like 99% of people out der then I might as well charge it with useful things like courses to better suit my working class professional life and some things like work or interview clothes and I started doing budgets like oh non professional spend thrift I would just buy everything my heart desires with the 2k like some weed dinners cat food and a bunch of other stuff like clothes and presents donations hahaha
and then my professional budget was something like $700 of the 1k to the course on each card and the rest on clothes and $30 left over for a dinner
and I thought a lot about pursuing janitorial and what made me think twice was how I felt cleaning the bathroom for 10 min like felt agonizing and I was like do you really want to clean toilets a few nights a week again and do this shit your whole life and I am like hell no so there went 75% of my spending! so my mind went to ok just have a slot machine win buy stuff you were going to buy in the next few months and free up some cash and yeah have fun you deserve it and then my more sensible side took over and deleted all those plans with the hopes of destroying the cards and then did that over and over a few times back and forth and I am like holy fuck shaun this is nuts wtf are you thinking !!! this is why you are so bad with money its ur mindset
you are treating a revolving credit acct like a slot machine or contest win and like 75% of your credit score is based on how you manage your revolving credit accounts
sensibility took over and I thought for over an hour about all the struggles I had in the past decade or so with credit counselling - credit accts debt and repairing my credit score and almost in tears I like desperately dont want to go back in time and repeat the same mistakes I made that were almost unfixable…
I vowed there to be able to manage this with sensibility and a wealth minded outlook
so you have $2000 in credit
try and keep your spending on each card to about $100-$200 and then pay that down with cash and pay it off all the time
see I wish discovering this was an easier process with me but I am stubborn
I kind of think to myself well I really want to win the lottery $2,000,000 exactly but how the hell are they going to give me that much money if I cant even handle $2000 lol
like grand epiphany hit
like even to properly manage the $2000 for about 3-6 months or longer would be an incredible feat in my own life and with me personally and I could see this as a pseudo test in my life to see if I can either waste what is given to me and pay through the roof or excel and learn about finances to develop financial habits that last see people they have given $60M have gotten into hundreds of millions of debt and is like dude you already got so much you could have set yourself up for life
I am also currently working on just abstaining from all drugs except mushies and 420 theoretically
there is some cool places online in canada you can get everything from coke to acid to mdma and other things
I dont really want those things at this time in my life and never drank cause it runs in my family and am a few weeks fresh into quitting smoking after smoking about 5 cartons after quitting for 9 months so like I know how impulsive I am and what kind of addictive mindset I have as well but like It took a lot of work to totally mostly except the national lotteries rid myself of gambling and I think this is a major issue I am here to work on …I could see myself getting millions and gambling it all away or getting hooked on some weird drugs and buying thousands of dollars worth at a time but like you do not really abuse shrooms or 420 lol
its all about strength and I have so many pills I take for mental illness so I really do not want to mess with that either with multiple drugs
I have a super good life right now that I manifested and thank the high heavens I am doing pretty well in life and safe and secure so that I can thrive
but with the financing and a loan and the credit card I have and then taking on two new credit cards it would assume I am setting myself up for disaster lol not entirely anymore and its all a shift in your brain and going through several budgets that make you realize you are fucken bonkers with money slow down and look at what it is and it is a credit account not lottery win lmao it would be nice to walk down the street and see a nice korean noodle shop with steamed noodles and think wow I would like to try this -I have a lot of room on my credit card and can pay off these noodles when I get paid in a week like this is the right way to think about it
it may seem basic for most people but for me and like most people that get a credit card its like spent within 72 hours lol especially those that suffer through the pitfalls of debt like I thought I was going to never get out of it all
I could see them granting all I seek (my wishes with money) after a bit of time discovering this new found sense of responsibility
some say oh you should not have that much credit and you are setting yourself up for more debt and disaster and cut up your cards now but essentially that choice is mine to make and each person is different -while having $2000 available would help if there is a catastrophic disaster that could be covered had I not had that amount open to me what the fuck am I supposed to do? nothing or hope for the best or hope that cash comes? lets be honest here like I accidentally get a tooth blown out or something and its like am I supposed to wait to get the tooth fixed through agonizing pain or charge it to the card instead of suffering?
its all how you think about it
just because you have a $2000 credit card does not mean you have to spend it all in a week lmao
this is how I used to think and they love this (the banks)
99% of us CANNOT handle debt appropriately and I used to be that person...not anymore. :)
let it be
let it be