What an insane time to be around…The world is chaotic but that is the goal of it all…and no people had it even worse in other times and there are several realities where everything has collapsed entirely. A lot of my dreams are capture the flag type scenarios and a lot of sex with hung guys lol and wandering around tons of shopping centres and hotels endlessly- I fear that my other self in this place- I can see- is hopelessly wandering a matrix of sorts. The one night that stuck out for me was when myself? Saw a cat on the street and whoever I was almost broke down in adoration of the feline and the feline just gave me? A really super weird look like it was shocked to get so much attention, but I think to someone wandering the streets all day -the sight of a cat would be comforting beyond belief. A lot of my books is dream travel that I recorded for a few years of my life. The first is a heavy dream travel novel-the sequel is kind of a mix and my manifesto which is autobiographical and also some wealth core and the third is kind of working out to be even heavier wealth core haha its funny but I obtained the copyrights a long time ago for my books so that was kind of the first step in it all- it will shape up to be a hunter s thompson type series. I would really like to do a conspiracy book or two really delving into Mk ultra and ritual abuse etc but I am struggling whether I want to go into even more detail about my manifesto and the meow mix audio series or just kind of make it a general sounding book on monarch slavery- I feel like I have written 100 books with this blog so I don’t care if I am not really into grammar I know I am a good writer and that is all that matters, its kind of tough to go between analytical and visual at times cause I find the visual a lot more impressive to work with.
Yes the world has ended. Technically.
What I cant figure out is the timing, I kind of think it all happened around the year 2000 it could have been as early as around 1994/1995 so I also think it kind of had alternate timelines sprout off when skull and bones stole an astronomical amount of money from the people…but also covid, and for me personally I believe I died at least once already but quite possibly a few times soul snared in foreign countries. It all sounds so horrific but it is what it is. We are getting to a point where literally everyone is observed for anomalous behaviour and everyone has something on them, either a sexual deviance or a criminal side or a dirty little secret that they know about.
It seems like this whole fantastic simulation is setup only for me, but I look at it as not an ego thing- I just kind of get it all…like I strongly believe when the time comes the only thing standing between all of this progressing beautifully or devolving into a new world order scenario is just little ol me. And it will be really interesting to see it happen in real time because I have been preparing for it for a long time now…but it is particularly troublesome for an introvert to even comprehend. Most people would say well why are you so special you are just nothing you are disgusting for even thinking that way. I tend to look at all my past memories as a type of an illusion made to make me believe in this three dimensional reality in a whole. When if you really spend a lot of time a recluse and in solitude and regress in your thoughts you realize that the only present reality is the present which is also a type of illusion because not even the most aware people are aware of the present moment or can do anything to stop the situation (the present) from taking place, like I think back for the past 6-8 months how little control I had of things actually playing out and stuff happened all around me sometimes up to like half a dozen separate issues to deal with on an hourly and daily and weekly basis.
For me, blogging has been insane, 21 to manage lol second life is insane -coming out with hundreds of products and uploading around a million images to the utter horror of the governance of SL lmao contesting takes 5 min-my twitter takes up as much time as blogging just endless retweeting and posting- my home life is safe and secure and stable and friendly.
cats are my two best friends
my family and friends life is almost non existent -were taught and engrained that being a loner and an introvert is wrong or bad along with being nocturnal and poor etc
nobody gets why I have a vendetta with an all male sex cult in my art and religion but to put it simply-their members or initiates targeted me from a very young age and some of the earliest memories I have are of sexual abuse and seeming strangers all inter connected through the timeline that have attempted to blackmail me, trick me, frame me, hurt me, and also they have attempted to give me HIV through a carrier that is also one of theirs along with being a character in the sims that made a lot of mistakes in which it was never my fault -I was pre diagnosis a bit insane pre medication and pre awareness-I was also heavily abused and under a lot of different drugs while my brain was still developing so for them to hate me so much does not make any sense at all
most people in my life start out okay and then something just shifts in them and they do something really horrible to me and I am expected to just forget the past and move on when I would never even think of doing something like that to anyone its like every single person you know is like in on it and bent as fuck
The only real solace I have is in my creativity and making a life for myself.
let it be.