Have been agonizing over how to spend some money opened to me since a couple weeks ago ago I always wanted a few smaller credit cards so I can use them as a micro-student loan if I need 2 so able to take my janitorial courses now with some new revolving credit accts I went between being responsible with them and just spending a couple hundred on them to like do what everyone else does and max them out responsibly in less than 24hrs -they kind of know I will do this lol figure its better to understand how I use money and I am very obsessive and impulsive and I take massive risks and try and elevate my professionalism as much as I can - they love my spending habits and all ours in the end it made more sense to spend it on something that will hopefully bring me more money to pay them of with set income…god I just see how hard it is to get employment out there I have to step up my game for someone that has only had to work about 3 years in my life lol I do like all the benefits of working like extra income and dont mind the physical work anymore or the challenges that come up just being able to pay my bills and eat really well is very motivating people when I gave up the last job were like oh you wont be able to find anything as flexible yeah I am not going to stay in a toxic work for the money you all may be able to do it but not me…and I would rather not work in a church that glorifies sexual dominance over their janitors I realize a lot of my last job blowing up was not my fault and the churches legal wing to help in this was not very supportive and made no effort to shield me from a perverted member that is way more powerful within the church than just a worker…its unfortunate cause It was all so perfect I saw myself working there until I was really old…just blasting my techno in the worship hall working alone all night and spending my weekends locked away in warmth and safety in christs house was beyond cool I technically got to manifest this blog in a job but I am not going to stay in a sexually abusive work environment for the income people are like oh you’re not a kid or teen but still the director of the church had no right to send me a nude photo of himself semi erect with his anus showing as well like it never would have ended up good like what the fuck was going on through his fucked up mind…I have more self respect for myself than to work in that shit lol a lot of life is starting from scratch again many times and most of us are not driven or motivated enough to do it 10x per year so I can see why a lot of us get stagnated and just wiling to accept life on welfare which is one sad step below a disability pension that does not allow one much financial freedoms or abilities quiting smoking has been tough as fuck past few weeks I would get at least 4 huge cravings lasting over an hour now seems to be just one or two but I have made it the problem I had was I not only had to get off the smokes but also like 10x the amount of gum lol so it was pretty tough but since I did it fully last year and quit for 9 months I knew my willpower to quit was strong just a $100 a month that I can use lol the cough with weed was noticeable and I stunk so I know its not easy to quit these things and the addiction can be stronger than coke or heroin but since giving up slots I know of my personal power with all this I feel so strong and full of life lately with the environment switch and change it has been a great process a little bit much with my old roomies emotions but blending into a new home with really cool guys has given me. newfound strength and if I ever need to leave here I will get at least a month break on rent usually to help pay for the move and a great landlord reference so that would help land a sweet setup and my credit score is pretty bomb so I could get wherever I need but I really dont want to go anywhere else….my place is really well appointed and my room is pretty luxe and the house is well appointed too and my door cats love that I am here hahaha with winter coming up and a cold season with a lot of drama with trump as usual I wanted to send some power to my life and my immediate future by taking some courses I specialized in the government will reimburse me so that will allow me to get some more presentable interview and work clothing so I can get hired and have some better clothes to wear when I am volunteering too….I was loaded collecting my pension and working and get all sorts of benefits like dental care bus pass and tax benefits etc so its worth to at least try try your butt off to make your life easier and hopefully attain some work in the new world order societal collapse working class dystopia lol second life, my art and blogs are not going to pay the bills lmao contesting no hope there I have been wanting to win a gaming comp or $10,000+ for over a decade my last win was last year and I won a bluetooth speaker some years I totally win 10,000% so its all good hahaha