Individual suffering can be immense sometimes without access to therapy or someone that can listen due to finances so a lot of us are meant to heal through unconventional methods or just simply get addicted or continue on in the abuse cycle. Its just most people with power in this society are psychotic and abusive narcissists and our society is not really that welcoming to people that could affect real change -like the actual change that is sometimes required to help others can only come from a non extroverted type person -but even to get into the basics of societal politics you have to show that you are for the most part an extrovert. In fact our society is shaping up to be one where the only ones that are employed are the ones that have proved themselves as an NPC that does not ask questions and do as their told as a productive little institutionalized slave rat. And since most jobs are extremely toxic and abusive in their nature as a work environment – people are left powerless to reach out or even excel in their working life simply because the people in charge have made an economy that is brutal and fragmented. The breadlines are long and vast and the competition for the last remaining jobs is callous. See I owe a lot of my side hustles ability to my government pension for disability and without it – I would have not been able to manage 21 blogs and do nearly 20,000 pieces of art and written 2.5 books at this time in my life. Had I had to work in all that time -I would have been constantly desperate to work and pay rent Don’t get me wrong being on a disability pension is difficult and frustrating due to the lack of freedoms and fun but at least all my bills are paid and such and I don’t end up back in the poverty cycle or in the hospital or in prison and my medications are covered so I am able to better control my decision making skills and my lack of impulse control. I guess when you have an income well below the poverty line it really teaches you a lot about life and spending habits and the necessary survival skills to operate in a fractured economy. I find the current state of events to be particularly troubling and worrying See I am able to reflect and chill because I don’t have a lot to do but I can only imagine most of the united states whom cannot afford multiple pharmaceuticals at a time to treat their illnesses are in a constant state of shock and trying to make sense of current events. I have always been fearless of death I guess and I sometimes take a moment to reflect how I would feel if everything just ended in a flash and bang and bam I feel I would exist somewhere at some point with my memories hopefully in tact unlike being born here. Where even our nightly reset our memories of it are erased. I guess a lot of us hope that good will prevail eventually – that everything will go back to normal I guess but it can only get a lot worse for all of us. Every core self is totally different Not a lot of people possess the innate desire to attain a vast wealth reserve like me. Or have the creativity to affect massive change in their existence or even the ability to tame their sexual desire and needs like I have. I owe a lot of my decision making abilities to being thrown out of the school system in grade eight and eventually after a lot of drugs and raves…I managed to obtain my GED then later finding and settle down with someone and becoming ordained and starting blogging and obtaining 6 doctorates -staying up all night for 20 years, having a few cute young relatives that look up to me to literally keep me on the right path and wanting to impress them rather than depress them about my abilities – not to mention having my thinking process corrected through the use of medications- which has helped tremendously!! Being a spiritual leader of a multifaith has really grounded me in the absolute ability to speak up for the vulnerable and dejected in society. But a lot of my reasoning has come as a direct result of a life of suffering and making a ton of mistakes and suffering through half my life as a complete psychotic and having all that corrected eventually allowing me to really work with that negativity and realize what is important in the long run- I owe a lot of my present day successes to simple things like making people laugh and being charitable and not offending the gods like catastrophically - I just imagine myself as a teen and think to myself holy shit the overlords of this dimension have their hands full with the current newbies hahaha But a lot of people never grow up -they never think about everything they did wrong 1200 times – they become hopelessly addicted to things like hard drugs and sex and it just literally consumes them in the end. I know me doing my lottery budget 15,001 times over and over would seem to be a waste of time for some people…but I really believe that I can manifest financial liberation at some point hahaha and when that time comes I will be able to manage whatever amount I bring to myself and I will have prepared myself fully for that day in all those little tweaks of that budget hahaha so it is useful in the end -I wont lie I would not spend most of it on helping charities or political parties but a lot of it will set up my life for a method that can continue to assist the vulnerable for my entire life. I met a lot of really sad cases of people with wealth as young as in my teens -I wuz exposed to some very wealthy crackheads whom seemed to have it all financially but were a train wreck with their addictions or impulses and it just made me want to attain what they have but do it better with my existence like 100x better than they could have done in the 1990’s So it will be…