since I stopped working I struggle with stuff to do all day -its always been a struggle sometimes but between cleaning, blogging, contesting, art & sL & etsy & social media like twitter I estimate I have about 6 hours a day of dedicated work I am up about 18 hours a day so I try and balance the rest with meditation and listening to music and the odd podcast - I dont watch tv or movies much I know that would alleviate a lot of it - I had a lot of responsibility in my last job its weird everything I touch ends up ending in a massive conflict of interest or conspiracy hahaha I did try the working life and with my erratic schedule it makes volunteering and working pretty difficult -I have to give myself credit though -I resigned in my last job and it was not my fault it was mainly due to a bullying campaign launched by a pervert that sent me pictures of himself nude and that should never have been allowed instead of asking him to resign his board position and leave the church they all joined forces and decided to push me out to protect this disgusting pervert people say oh that is how gay guys hit on other guys etc but I made it very clear I was not interested and actively asexual and I know I triggered him when I said I was anti masonic so he embarked on a bullying campaign -its all so unfortunate but I am left here without a supplementary income and I feel like this was all my fault it does not make any sense but I also feel courageous for standing up to all those religious freaks because I know I did a good job and I was the only one at that church with compassion enough to help and assist homeless people that camped out there and enact harm reduction policies I worked there for just under 3 years it was great and I will move on and move on with my life -just makes me think harshly of organized religions and have faith in my own ministry because they are jealous because 10x more people frequent my virtual ministry than their physical church hahaha bunch of fuckers LmAO

 They have always been threatened by me, let them...they try and use extroverted groups (familiar and not) to bring me down render me jobless, homeless -they attack me health wise but I am still here preaching away like nothing is working and they are scared - scared because one day I will experience full liberation -financial + spiritual etc and they will just always be a boring old slave never achieving anything but hurting people -its insane being the prince of empaths sometimes you really are injured through life continuously and nobody fucking cares in your circle nobody is nice....nobody helps you and relatively little kindness is shown to you- its sad but oh well that is not what I need because I make myself happy I have 6 doctorates several titles- 3 novels - 17,000 pieces of art DONE and 21 blogs -I will be okay lmao :) oh he always plays the victim card -um hello because this place has thrown immense amounts of suffering and betrayal my way -what the fuck am I supposed to do? they all want me to kill myself or something its fucked and I see why we have lost so many genuine caring and beautiful people to this twisted sex based apparatus- when my time comes- it wont be by my hand or a weird cult -it will be of old age and I will have fully achieved my purposes here and I will graduate to the buddhic and heavenly realms for all of time and all of known eternity because this is promised to every single soul via the great mother that has worked tirelessly to help others trapped in samsaric existence they all laugh at me because they know they have another 10,000 lives left (in financial security might I add) but they still have to come around and around and I know that I will be welcomed into the most highest realms as a guru of techno but this wont be until I am in my 80's or 90's and hopefully the sex cults have been fully defeated by then :)  they ruined my home worlds and trapped my soul here because I threatened all of them - I will always be a target because I am the only religion with big enough balls to stand up to these fucks - its sad when most people who love you fuck you over you kind of stay guarded - I just have faith in the future because I am a raver and have worked through tons of challenges and karma on my own without help- it will be a great future !!! the peace matrix forever and for all of time and known eternity a raver galaxy so far advanced that nobody is welcome unless you achieve vastness and immensity