“Maa was a sex worker. While working, she fell in love & had me, her ‘son’. When things didn’t work out with my father, she became a maid. As she worked, the women in Kamathipura raised me–they’d call me Shaam. Seeing the women dress up made me want to be like them. And one day, when I was 9, one of the aunties called me & said, ‘Come, try this lipstick.’ I was excited! I put on makeup, wore a saree & waited all day for Maa to come home. But when Maa saw me, she beat me & said, ‘Behave like a man!’ Since then I kept to myself. I’d understood what was truly ‘wrong’ with me–I was a girl trapped in a boy’s body. I’d secretly visit the women, dress up & dance my heart out; that was my only escape. School was a nightmare; my classmates mocked me, I didn’t have friends. And when Maa couldn’t afford to pay fees anymore, I dropped out after class 10; I grew depressed. To run the house, I worked odd jobs at a garage & a juice center. Despite doing my best, Maa would taunt me about my identity… She was ashamed of me. And one day, I couldn’t bear it anymore; I wore bangles to work & when Maa saw me put them on, she threw a fit! ‘What will people think of you?’ she asked me. At that moment, as much as I loved Maa, I decided to choose myself. As she looked on, I left the house. I found work at an airline. And after hearing about my situation, the women from the brothel became my support & together, we rented a room. I was in the company of people who treated me with dignity; I felt loved! And because of such acceptance, I took the most important step–transitioning. With my savings & the women also pooling in for my surgery, I prepared myself for the day. As I lay in the hospital, my best friend comforted me, ‘You’re going to wake up as the person you were born to be!’ And when the women saw me after I’d transitioned dressed in a saree, they told me what I always hoped Maa would, ‘You look beautiful!’ Today, I walk with no more fear, only pride in being Shyamili. Because Shyamili is now free of the burden of needing others to accept her. Free of allowing anyone or anything to control, limit, or repress from being my true self!”