u kiddos need to find a lot of things to keep you busy for your very long sentence here (or you will go bazerk and nuts) I mean tons of side hustles meditation manifesting making diggie art playing around in virtual worlds making music writing books etc just find a lot of hobbies and you will like never be bored and when you are bored you kind of say to yourself this is odd I am actually bored for a change ! you should really begin to just enjoy your own company and date yourself for a change since your body is different from you - be kind to it do not cut it up or whatever make it work for you and use your human self as a tool and carve your niche in the world there are so many quadrillions of souls waiting for more here to just fail and float away in obscurity so they can be next in line for a birth please understand you are not just a $18 an hour worker etc what the matrix makes you believe bill urself $175,000 an hour IOU for a later date and start working on stuff and collect 20 years from now and even meditating for 4 minutes is very very useful you dont need to sit there for hours thinking about nothing or scanning the body how boring as fuck manifest in your meditation repeat billions of times the amount you want in fiat and it will come to you but dont forget things like I want to be healthy fully liberated not just financially and most important I always ask for forgiveness at least 10x a day for strange things you have to be a good heart to ask satan to forgive u :)