Friday, October 20, 2023

Edict on the mother of the swami


Announcement by the emir which is deeply personal and heartfelt

So it is with heavy sadness that I report that I am unable to continue my relationship with my mother whom is a mean mother narcissist

Asking for some money for some medicines proved to be troubling

I cant ignore this nagging feeling I have

That she kicked out her disabled son, in the middle of winter to remain homeless and destitute with no shelter or even control over my own belongings

I moved my ex bf chuck into the building after giving him flowing reviews in carpentry in fact I am the only reason he is not homeless and then he swooped in stole my entire life

And when I was homeless crashing at his place =he got super sexually weird almost hateful of the fact that I am asexual was inviting sexual partners over when his ex was staying with him

He is also a known narcissist

He was watching porn all the time and walking around naked

I really tried my best to hang onto my job and my life

Now I found my own place in a refuge that I created as a healing space nobody can bother me and essentially I have autonomy as a monarch slave which is rare most are just infested with abusers

I also cant ignore the nagging fact that My life here is HELL

I am meant to survive on very very little and I make the best of it I just have issues coping with how unfair life can be sometimes

I am in a good place its just Chuck my mom they can all live in that building and drive each other insane cause that is what they wanted SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT FUCKEN CRAZY!!!

I know you cant give up on your family but this is not a decision I AM taking lightly I have to kind of tear the narcissist away kicking and screaming at this point

These people have infested my life to the point of me being in a psych ward 3x and the psychiatrists just telling me to go harm myself so wtf? Why are hospitals so evil? Do they even admit people anymore? Why did our dimension suddenly go to the incredible dark ages? Why is some peoples lives HELL on earth and some people get accolades even though they are a rapist




I believe I was born into a HATEFUL and nasty generational abuse family to be later sold as a sex slave to the elites where I resisted everything including my programming to become an enlightened guru and swami to better serve those that come to me for help

I believe my birth here is a lie perpetrated BY ONE SOLE NARCISSIST I cannot for one second begin to shake that nagging feeling I have about love and mothers and family and how mine does not have one shred of love or compassion which I am overflowing with