Wow so I realized when I get super stressed out I go into my monastic mode where I want to leave it all and become a monk and say adios to society hahaha I just need a day or two to calm down and start thinking realistically honestly I just dont think I am cut out to be a monk I think I need to just make more money and have more opportunities to feel comfortable in society good news !!! I just applied to a building maintenance company to provide janitorial I am super qualified for this and it would be great to max out my additional income for my pension so I can actually make a livable income I think if they dont hire me I just have to keep plugging my janitor Dr Resume out there and finally somebody will bite like EUC did hehehe I tend to deflect a lot of jobs because I am technically a doctor but I am not going to hide who I am in a dirty little secret honestly I went into janitorial cause it provided me a great livable income and a viable career path with little or no experience in matrixing truth is a lot of employers are looking for a little slave rat that will do what they are told and not stand up for themselves and 95% of jobs out there are like this and are TOXIC places to work with people that just endlessly do what they are told and not stand up for themselves and speak their mind. if they are looking for a real human being with struggles that works fucken hard and does a great fantastic job I am their man hahaha not gonna work at wal mart no fucken way I have more pride in myself than that !!! I need something challenging and rewarding and it goes both ways I dont want to be scolded for being 1 minute 30 seconds late like I am in kindergarden I am a super hard worker and people will really see that I can feel it so excited this company feels right as I am not suited towards maintenance but a more cleaner role and yes I love being clean and staying clean clean home clean self clean life clean thoughts hahaha jk had you there LMAO 🙂 so excited this gurl needs money baby to make my life happen not swear all money off and live in a dress with no hair or eyebrows !!! I am probably deffo the looniest friend/rave rev you all have guaranteed hahahaha