I live with conditions such as severe nausea (on the level of a cancer patient) Mental illness including schizophrenia (to see thingz differently) and come from a life of crime, poverty, sex work, abuse ....and I live with being predominately nocturnal (no circadian rhythm) I have a life long pension do to my mental health and live with permanent nerve damage in both wrists from an incredibly serious suicide attempt at age 16 that I will most likely never 'get over' (I will not work one day in my entire life per se) If I did not unlock the doors through crime and sex work for example I would not have such a belief system where I have the keys to my soul- able to guide others through complex suffering....I will never claim to be more perfect, more intelligent nor enlightened.....U ARE guru, YOU are enlightened - YOU are the universal incarnated....