I took a bit of time to read through this ministry and look
back on several years ago and I have to say that my writing style and my
eloquence has developed.
It is tough in this world to find your place when your whole
brain chemistry is totally fried from multitudes of rave drugs. I feel in some
ways that the rave scene really wronged me in a sense, but mirroring the real
world being a part of rave culture brings its own plethora of decisions and
choices.
I think the world is filled with thousands of people that
were irreparably harmed by the rave scene of the 1990’s and the elixirs the
chemists cooked up for us. But the other end of the spectrum is that it allowed
people that were marginalized and pretty effin weird to come together in a
community and dance the night away.
I find quite some comfort in techno still to this day and
the parties have not stopped since I started raving but being separated from
the rave scene since 2002 you tend to wonder what they are like.
Most people grow out of them, most people get a corporate
job and move on, worrying about their kids or mortgage and have no time to
party anymore.
I would go to bigger parties in Vancouver and like people
were having a seizure every hour at those raves, Vietnamese gang shootings high
on coke etc
But the Victoria rave scene was more intimate and everyone
knew each other. It was a huge challenge in my life to go from living within a
rave community to being outcast on my own will and going from hundreds of
friends to living a life of isolation.
Honestly I truly have no regrets however I would have lived
my life differently had I had the choice too
I would have respected people more, but that is a choice
that is not given to you when you have serious chemical combinations in your
mind. It turned into a very dangerous scene in the last year, with drug
dealing, people that looked like skeletons, meth and coke parties at dealers
houses, and me almost going off on a round the world yacht trip with an insane
coke head transvestite lol
It’s like almost to quantify it all seems a pretty big task,
I think my friends currently just say “you have had a lot happen to you” lol
I wish so much for my life to have been different, different
choices etc
In some way I would have liked a more normal existence not
such an indigo upbringing, but my own personal story is one of adversity and
compassion, only simply that I could live through such trauma and not inflict
it on others is a godsend.
In a way this virtual ministry completes my needs for ego
gratification, but it also helps shape who I am artistically and
professionally. When I go to the bank and explain that I am a reverend, I can
do it with pride because I have worked very hard and very diligently to explain
all sorts of spectrums from this reality.
In a way the party has continued every night for me, with
endless techno streams out there and the beat keeps going on, and techno does
heal and forgive.
This blog or virtual ministry still provides a rave in a
site for those that want random trippiness.
I don’t want peoples pity or scorn, I just want my writing
to be able to help others on their path.
Compassion
Solitude
Tekno
Forgiveness
PeaCe
Love
Unity
Respect
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