Many of us have pasts that we are hopelessly trying to
recover from, be it abusive backgrounds and then the state or government
failing to protect us in such matters or with me personally it is an abusive
upbringing in a monarch family then them attempting to create imprints in my
psyche that would render me a person that would continue abuse on others
With me personally the strongest has to be a false sexual
abuse allegation made when I was like 11 or 12 against my own sister, and this
lead to my own attempt on my life I believe, nobody could recover being beaten
with a wooden spoon for lies, I cant say how it all happened throw in the
brainwashing by an abusive father to his toddler daughter and we have ourselves
an imprint.
I am not here to make sense of life, well perhaps I am but
given my experiences in my manifesto I am lead to believe I am simply a trauma
abuse asset that was lead around by Satanist forces to further market my own
self and establish myself in the trauma abuse realm to further abuse others I
have no idea, but I changed myself for the good and for the better of society
by obtaining compassion, love and happiness
Nobody I don’t think could recover from that or about 1000
crimes of theft that I initiated on the matrix and the guilt that goes along
with that is brutal or the fact that I was in sex work from as young as 14
Just a horrible existence not to mention being shuttled from
new home to new home dozens of times.
Growing up in a chav family is difficult and stressing
because we are not given multitudes of wealth like other families, but I have
learnt to adapt and move on
Who could recover from trauma of this sort nobody, most end
up dying, and we have lost many in the struggle because of this invisible force
leading people unbeknown like a puppet or by people that should have some level
of guidance in our lives end up using that power for evil
So here I am, a broken soul, but I am constantly working
towards good and the more divine side, without giving into things like religion
which is generally Satanist in nature.
It seems to me when you begin to deprogram yourself and work
to enhance your being beyond the status quo you embark on a painful quest for righteousness
and faith.
My faith rests in divinity – a faculty of divine entities
guiding the structure around us as we know it.
I only have to look at my own creativity to find that nature
And I am in a good place. I get to watch hummingbirds drink
sugar water and see deer eating long stemmed greens, I get to enjoy the company
of a partner who loves me unconditionally
And this is what I have always been searching for, but never
found.
I get to enjoy life finally without feeling defeated and I
get to escape from inner turmoil and hopefully recover but many of us are so
broken and so sad there is no rescuing some but if one finds their inner peace
their inner beauty and their inner soul anything can happen
I am in the process of marketing my art site to galleries,
clubs and salons, gay community centres etc
I like the idea of being self employed and I am almost done
my final edit to my first book then onto the second one.
I am going places but the only person that can find that
path is me, the matrix cannot tell you who you are
I have many things holding me back like the past I speak of,
and various disabilities not to mention being nocturnal kinda seperates you
from everything but I go on, I am worthy of a fortunate future, and I am worthy
of redemption and love
I feel proud at all I have accomplished these past few years
and haha I am glad that I am simply ‘alive’ given my travels. Most in my
situation are dumped nude with slash marks across their body in a shopping
cart.
But the blessed forces see me as something worthy of life,
worthy of a beautiful existence and a charming male interpretation of a fairy
tale
Life can be very beautiful if you let it but understand that
spiritual leaders are broken as well
Only trying their best to overcome this realities harsh
circumstances
It is a very difficult time to be alive and awakening
Keep your heads up tigers
The future is beautiful.
There is no other words that can describe it.
Shaun A. Delage
