My thoughts of ordaining as a Buddhist monk are mixed, and rather human at this point, first and foremost I would like to be released from my own internal prison structure of karma and psychological operations. Next I would like to become more versed in a reclusive and enlightened faith. Next the ideals seem to mix with that of a middle aged mandarin female which I probably was in my last life lol
I have decided to post the manifesto for public view but only have this one copy visible through the Church so in a sense my own lil gateway and portal
I am beginning to let go because frankly I think I have the qualities needed of a Buddhist monk and I see Vipassana as kindergarden for monks and I got a taste and rebelled and now I seem to be blacklisted on vipassanas rosters but that is what happens when you accuse a way centre of warcrimes lol
I have learnt from my experiences enough to warrant me changing my life drastically....while I still seem to be caught on
the level of a teen or whatever I just cant escape my life and I don’t want it to hit me at middle age that I have done nothing
I want to shine, and give discourses in enlightenment, train under an evolved religion and release myself from the confines of the material world and the matrix and finally make sure I don’t get born into the next vessel as another chav or whatever having to suffer
Maybe my path includes that of being able to preach enlightenment and guide others through suffering
I as well will be suffering, with no hair, nor eyebrows or dinner or snacks or coffee or for example the ability to shave my pubic hair bald lol (it is against the monastic code lolz)
I believe I have the spiritual centre needed to be a monk, living as a lay hermit for like 4 years with barely enough
I wanted so much to be a writer in the world and travel cruise ships but I think I would be a 500 pound writer in no time lol
So in april the Church of Techno may close, and I may move on, but it has been a blast regardless. I have made quite a few friends and even more enemies (lala )
I think it would be cool to be a monk, kind of ironic for me to choose a lineage that concerns itself with Buddhist conservatism haha but I think it will be good for me considering how much of an unstructured and undisciplined life has lead me and look where I am now, lol
Part of me wishes that the internet or my books or second life for example could lead me to a level of happiness. Part of me wishes I could just win a hospital lottery and sit in my lottery house smoking 420 and eating muffins ...part of me wishes by now I have found the right man, a shining prince in beautiful clothing that could say to me one day “you never have to work a day in your life”
Much of me has realized that my power and authority will not take place as a handout but rather a learning experience
That I can hold power and authority without wealth
This is the greatest epiphany to hit recently
Me personally I think I have tested all the other gods to their limits lol the lord Buddha remains the only one standing and smiling back at me
While I have had fun delving into conspiracy, MK ultra and other fascinations
I don’t believe these avenues will offer any level of enlightenment
While part of me wanted to release captivation in totality and get rid of it in my life completely
I honestly believe it can help others
I believe my place in 2012 is to be a forest monk and to retreat to a forest community where I will be accepted and respected. I could think of no other place other than birken forest monastery to live out my days
- Shaun A. Delage
