cat pelt safety

I have really been pondering my past lately and really wondering what came over me in my more criminal life. Yes some of it was greed and yes some of it was personally motivated but to really come to terms with the full spectrum let alone the consequences of my actions has taken years of recovery

Part of me, was angered by the fact that my life was almost taken away from my at age 15 in a foreign country, this was my own doing but i suspect not all of it was my own doing. It was one part luciferian consciousness another part, neuro linguistics via St. John ambulance corps and neuro linguistics via my initiated boyfriend. Then you have the AdvAnced Interdimensional walkabout i was involved in in 1994 involving queen elizibeth and others...

It actually freaks the hell out of me every day how close i came to losing function in my hands let alone bleed to death and this is an insurmountable obstacle which bends my reality to an ever presence where i have discovered the true meaning to life and am living the life on my terms not what others dictate to me.

Mind you the internet is extremely impersonal and an alien form of communication which is ironic because people and i am guilty, of sharing way too much online.

So it was that and being falsely accused of a disgusting sexual assault (and they gave me graphic details for something that never happened lol)  by a police detective that ushered in a new era of my own criminality which eventually lead to high class sex work and monarch stuff

So i was angered and injured by the system which in effect caused me to act out and this happened in a literal crime spree of over 5 years ....finally i was finally arrested and charged with a crime as an adult and they gave me an ultimatum, pick up the pieces of your life and sort things out and you will be ok you will have no criminal record

Mind you the probation was brutal and then the community service was even more brutal doing methamphetamines at a catholic diocese while i moved frozen turkeys around the building while the obese worker at the diocese barked at me. I would just find a spare room and smoke some more drugs it was the lowest point in my life

By that time i was living in a block long apartment in the worst neighbourhood in Canada literally

I would stay up for 10+ days with little food or sleep.

I am fortunate to be alive these days and i am going to make magic with every waking moment I have here and why just give my life over in subservience to others when i can treat myself to a lifetime of luxury and love and enlightenment and ascension

While those around me laugh at me because i cant afford to go out to dinner and i eat in renunciation etc and i don’t go out clubbing and i don’t really focus on anything mainstream

I see it as this

Gay men and women have to be VERY smart in life because when you are very old there is usually nobody left to take care of you with no kids etc you have to make sure your financially setup when your very old to not suffer

This is why i take comfort in my projects , that while they may not give me reward in the short term like most slaves are accustomed too if i play my cards right so to speak i will be set for life. And let me tell you there is virtually nobody on earth that can attest to this type of mindset the only ones are billionaires.

I have always been a firm believer in the fortuitous nature of life, to actually see past the present and far into the future. Wealth and money have always been used against me in the most cruellest forms as a form of escape, pleasure, or crime/pain.

So, i have never really been swayed by what society views as a normal existence

So yes the hermits life amidst the madness and the church of techno prophet and that is what rev kai and i are, are prophets because our information is articulated mostly from the other side.

People assume that what is present in front of them is the truth. Most don’t believe in divinity or mystery or the other side or invisibles or aliens

Their main ideology is slavery and it seems to be the one most heavily propped up

Reading through my book for god knows how many times, considering i wrote it. There are spots in it that the characters just grab me and i have an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Almost half reminding myself that i wrote it !!!

I guestimate by summer time or at least the end of spring or sooner i will be in a position to hire an editor to bring it to the next level and that is manuscript.

My inspiration is J.K Rowling

She, like me...was living on benefits and in subsidized housing. Most likely out of frustration, and maybe some personal issues as well or illnesses/ mental blockages... she decided to start writing harry potter

Within 5 years she became the richest woman in her country

While i am not expecting to be at her level considering my book has gay characters in it. I at least would like to be rewarded for my hard work of a few hours a day. With at least being elevated out of the urban poor.

Mind you being in the urban poor isn’t so bad. I mean i am ok. I have the newest gadgets. I look like a  chav in society. My bills are paid, I am smart enough to make what little i do have go far and this is the struggle of most working people is this reward mechanism in their minds.

They go through many hours of slavery and then need to reward themselves for it

I don’t understand this concept in people...the need to slave a whole life away for others ....

Not everyone is born to be a writer and live the writers life like me. But could you imagine how this world would look if everyone devoted ten years to their goals and aspirations?

So to come out of a life of suffering, almost losing a life prematurely and while those around me dine on steaks every week and seemingly happy in their inherent slavery i eat in renunciation dreaming of that world cruise....and it will happen.

I ask my guide to show me the way and what i get is a nice surprise a turtle

It took me to a large cruiseship there was rides and stuff and i was in a wheelchair and trying to get around and i was riding on peoples legs it was a very interesting ship and was due to take off and some lady barked at me for running over her ankle in my wheelchair contraption  

.

Smiling through the digital waves and stopping my train of thought in sadness

Teaching me there is something more

I see him everywhere in virtuosity now and cant get enough

I smile back and we just know this is just the beginning

For there is an entire world out there to discover

Mistakes to be made

Things to recover from
at least this godsend came in the form of a striking love

Where he will take me next i have yet to figure out

My happiness is here but now i can gift it

To him, where it belongz.

-Shaun A. Delage