I have been really struggling to bring my virtual life to terms with my regular life like some undiagnosed illness of two spectrum causalities that run aside each other with no future if they intertwine
Part of me wants the fame and prestige that my virtual life brings and then the other part of me wants the calmness and relative solitude that my real life holds to carry over through to the other spectrum
Well my masters hasn’t arrived yet it takes awhile to come from modesto California i guess
It will be nice to have that because i can ad to my unique causality a little more
I have just virtually recovered from chaos
The past few days i had spent expanding the main store in SL and then put it back as it was
I am glad i had the courage to expand and then pack it all up while it was very tough i needed to go thru the steps i figure and while it is nice to have a main store that is a block long by a block wide i think i will just settle on a block long it’ll just be super thin
Today is one of those anniversary’s that i go through with every hospital lottery
I guess i almost expected to win , but deep down inside i sort of don’t want to win, i mean of course i do or i wouldn’t enter but i expect to win because of the Vancouver oracle telling me i will have alot of power and authority
It will be funny to see if that is a psychic prediction or if she is some gypsy quack
i hate how when you see a psychic the words just fuckin haunt you for like years upon years like me presently to a mind numbing madness like oh hey this may bring me power and i go for it lol guess her power words were blessings in disguise
but the thing is she added her own touch she picked up that i was wearing a turkish evil eye charm and asked to see it then she held it with her hands that had something like leprosy on them lol and said i would have aLOT of power and authority and i used to be a woman in my last life - i will have a very long life and that i have a curse on me - and the last one makes me not want to believe what she says because this seems to be the oldest trick in the psychic book but the part of her asking me about my charm and she reading it with touch just gets to me
I mean who knows right? Perhaps i am going to have alot of power and authority with that usually comes wealth but i know much of it has to be earned for you to feel proud of the wealth
And then when you do have it you must use your power and authority to aid others in their path or you risk losing it to karma
I remember that i am not a normal person per se and what i mean by this is somebody that has almost died and yeah you hear it almost every blogpost lol
But there is no other person like me that has conceived of this art movement and for this reason i put my faith that i may be something like a famous artist one day
Or at least be paid up to pursue more artistic endeavours
That is the artists dream
I have a cashload of art that nobody can copy and a ton of people can adore and buy i have a marketable product unlike people that waste their lives away in nothingness ...i really am in my own world here be it reality or virtual and the art is one thing but to tie it in to an art movement you must have the story behind your art which must be captivating and then the artist themselves which is instant fame for me lolz i question why it is taking so long for the system to catch a glimpse of me, perhaps they are prepping....or perhaps they are already sick of meh ..... then you have the art which speaks for itself and markets your whole personae as an artist and then you have the ensuing scandal that the art brings....
i mean to be an artist is one thing but to have a post modern movement is another story all together and a completely new mode of thinking artwise separates me from the average painter with 10 pieces under their belt when i have about 50 i have decided to work with and about 350 more in my stash
-in a way i chose to invest heavily in the internet and while not seeing any result for the past 10 years i expect one day to find a virtual enlightenment per se ---but what a journey hehe you with meh ?
i mean to be an artist is one thing but to have a post modern movement is another story all together and a completely new mode of thinking artwise separates me from the average painter with 10 pieces under their belt when i have about 50 i have decided to work with and about 350 more in my stash
-in a way i chose to invest heavily in the internet and while not seeing any result for the past 10 years i expect one day to find a virtual enlightenment per se ---but what a journey hehe you with meh ?
My book is kind of on the shelf for the time being either until i get some more inspiration to edit the 200+ pages or i am also considering going into a reading break with the resistance for a bit since i am getting a new ebook reader to replace the last one
I like ebook readers, while the last one was a lemon i hope this one is ok
I think what helps me operate as a normal human being i mean mostly is the actual isolation from other beings and i wonder if this is my path
I mean to be isolated forever or to keep aligning with people
And those i align with are virtuosities which make it a more challenging form of communication but also for the right part the safest form of communication (safety wise) lol
Not that i am gonna get my paw slapped by Paddington bear lol
i just have met some weirdos in real life and it is funny to me that i choose the net as my haven as my hangout...
Trying to navigate googles advertising scheme is brutal
I have been experimenting bringing my art site to various levels of marketing but nothing yet
I will see what fits !!
it is tough being a broke superstar yet i am not a hippy and yet my bank account has Rev. Dr. listed kind of funny to be a penniless doctor but i am sure there is worst
kinda hopping around a bit but i feel that post secondary stuff only clouds the younger minds in distraction and with the promise of a lifetime of slavery it is quite funny to see because any employer can let you go as an employee it really is a level complexity with the hiring of people i mean many people i know are going into nursing and if they only knew the huge cows that held me down while stabbing me with a needle or the nurse with her supposed education placing somebody with a serious virus next to me in a hospital ...post secondary is basically where all the three tier losers go- i mean you have several tiers the ivy league, the middle (who knows where they are going) and the no brains (just gonna go somewhere me hopes-and they will because they paid for the sadism)
i dont really get this quality in humans to pay to be a slave it is like paying to give yourself cancer and mind you there is not alot of human qualities i attach to as a human, funny for me to say...
nobody wants to tell you, you can slack off and be your own person if you want, because this is your life and your future. it is funny though people in post secondary and i am sure there are exceptions to the rule but these people do not rely on human qualities of intellectualism and should always be looked at with a level of distrust, mind you some are very talented to find what they love and i say this that there are 'some' that find their calling..i bet if i was offered schooling i would take some courses in an instant but that is being withheld from me at this point it may change in the future funny thing is i need the givernment to tell me i am native and then they are gonna try saying your not native enough lol but if i am approved i get a bunch of free stuff like school and the US border vanishes :) so to be able to take anything without restriction school wise would be cool...there are so many avenues i would mesh well with, art, literature, fashion design, cooking etc
virtually i am somewhat of a guru at this point but in real life i am a different person all together
many people are like this with their work or home life etc so i know i am not alone lol
kinda funny to almost have to remind yourself of your status on an hourly basis so you and the system are up to speed and also refeeding some of those power words back to the people that send them to you.
it is tough being a broke superstar yet i am not a hippy and yet my bank account has Rev. Dr. listed kind of funny to be a penniless doctor but i am sure there is worst
kinda hopping around a bit but i feel that post secondary stuff only clouds the younger minds in distraction and with the promise of a lifetime of slavery it is quite funny to see because any employer can let you go as an employee it really is a level complexity with the hiring of people i mean many people i know are going into nursing and if they only knew the huge cows that held me down while stabbing me with a needle or the nurse with her supposed education placing somebody with a serious virus next to me in a hospital ...post secondary is basically where all the three tier losers go- i mean you have several tiers the ivy league, the middle (who knows where they are going) and the no brains (just gonna go somewhere me hopes-and they will because they paid for the sadism)
i dont really get this quality in humans to pay to be a slave it is like paying to give yourself cancer and mind you there is not alot of human qualities i attach to as a human, funny for me to say...
nobody wants to tell you, you can slack off and be your own person if you want, because this is your life and your future. it is funny though people in post secondary and i am sure there are exceptions to the rule but these people do not rely on human qualities of intellectualism and should always be looked at with a level of distrust, mind you some are very talented to find what they love and i say this that there are 'some' that find their calling..i bet if i was offered schooling i would take some courses in an instant but that is being withheld from me at this point it may change in the future funny thing is i need the givernment to tell me i am native and then they are gonna try saying your not native enough lol but if i am approved i get a bunch of free stuff like school and the US border vanishes :) so to be able to take anything without restriction school wise would be cool...there are so many avenues i would mesh well with, art, literature, fashion design, cooking etc
virtually i am somewhat of a guru at this point but in real life i am a different person all together
many people are like this with their work or home life etc so i know i am not alone lol
kinda funny to almost have to remind yourself of your status on an hourly basis so you and the system are up to speed and also refeeding some of those power words back to the people that send them to you.
i feel more earthbased lately rather than universally sound so i will rest here in this personal mode for a bit
Perhaps a few more days to collect my spirit and bring it back to earth and give it a big warm hug and welcome home...captivation is back on the site for the time being since it defines my status in the art community.
- SHauN A. Delage
