Being a survivor of a very brutal and sadistic self inflicted suicide attempt, each day can be a challenge...motivationally and otherwise.
Especially when your ultimate goal is enlightenment, because enlightenment is not what everyone imagines it to be-sitting of gilded throwns of gold with people feeding you raspberries.
Life is challenging when faced with so much trauma and difficulty.
Now since i know how far i can go on the pain threshold and survive i don’t want to go down that route again. But the question always comes up in my mind like an ideation well why not just give up i mean faced with so much hardship and pain...
life becomes sadistic to live and i am later on reminded of one of my better qualities almost immediately after i ponder something horrible like wanting to end my life again is my inherent quality of wanting to seek ascension above all other beings
In ways i have progressed to that level and i am at this point one of the most famous Canadians (in relative secrecy) but also i am one of the most famous human beings on earth. For one thing keeps me going is the need to evolve and most of all escape the web of earths that i have been cycling through.
Mind you an alien birth would be nice haha but i’ll take whatever comes to me paradoxically, this being my last incarnation on earth i am not meant for a life of slavery like the people that have 30 lives left to live here. I not only want to evolve as a human but to evolve spiritually.
There are parts of me that are not of this earth and in that part of me i welcome my placement on the planet that no other human being could obtain. Well it would be near impossible but they would need to have some sort of a twisted obsession lol
In a way i have been faced with the supreme curse of being able to cheat death but mostly i have uncovered what types of beings are responsible for my death and that has brought on aLOT of magic into my life considering one important key....i am still alive and yet i avenge my death how silly hehe
There is no doubt in my mind i was destined to die in a foreign country on the grounds of evergreen state college, They even felt the need to take polaroids of my wounds for their own keepsake.
Thankfully divinity thought i was worthy of living another day. I don’t ever remember the day it happened whether it was Monday or Tuesday or the number day and month etc THANKFULLY or that anniversary would have been a brutal day come round to haunt me each year that passed by.
SO many in the world are ‘very mean’ and we have lost so many in the struggle to these neuro sadistic cultists but we are gaining momentum because when people wake up and finally realise this is fucking life or death and not just some twisted game of drinking, buddies, nudes and debit cards...
People cry for ascension mostly because those that we’ve lost on the other side are willing to show a select few that there are other worlds and other planets and the future is paradoxically guiding us from a tormented state...I say we are being controlled by two spectrum causalities one dimension you find is like a musky bar in some small town in the middle of nowhere Hicksville and the other is going at hyperspeed through countless villages and towns only stopping in for a short time in each.
If it stopped in each matrix your body would be combusted with fear etc Who wants to travel forever and forever but also who in their right mind would want to be trapped in the same internal prison for 85 years? This is what the older generations are scared of...is that us younginz will figure it all out and release humanity from captivity that has been going on for decades in the exact same self similar repeating circumstances for all of time
Some humans only experience freedom for maybe a few weeks each year for their vacation. The rest is in subservience to ISIS=$$ (and the cultists that prefer to keep us trapped here forever and ever)
It’s time we wiped the tears from our faces and soaked up the blood from our hands and figure out who matters in this whole grand scheme of things. It’s time we all awoke from a centuries long slumber and look at who is not allowing you to progress amidst illusion and say goodbye. Because they don’t care about leading you anywhere but farther away from yourself and your inherent goals and dreams.,
They want to lead you farther into an elusive illusion that prefers not to be named, because there is no definition in illusion...it keeps going.
Its time to wake up and join the quadrillions of other souls in the galaxy that are waiting and praying for you. Singular YOU to attain full enlightenment, really find yourself. But most of all change others in the process.
I ask my guide to show me the way what i got was a supreme surprise it was a badger cub
It took me to a large hostel and i found a guy for JO wow funtime hehe but a huge group came in and was going to take us for a ride on vehicles through the streets they were snaking their way through side streets on these huge block long jeeps that you could stand in and it was quite alot of fun.
Next the badger cub took me to a dock where i was getting off a cruise ship and noticed a bunch of pink hulled yachts in the harbour. I checked out a thick book on philosophy and even read some.
People kept staring at me and pointing while i tried to take alot of gum out of my mouth which kind of sucked...well to have that much gum to chew it was pretty sick.
Inflying thru amazement
Amidst your own realism
Tying a self to known
Yet wandering into myown
And trying the flight amidst love
Intune with more evolved
Wanting moretofind
And yet nothingfinds u
When you look around and wait
The theory will be here for you
So why try when you can believe
And amaze even your higher self
- Shaun A. Delage
