My psychic self is always under attack somewhat
Especially from men
It is amusing mostly
My first interaction of familiarity is always cordial
If i see them again, after some time to let my face register
I get treated with hostility
Then after that they warm up
To the point of offering me a ring
It is rather amusing
Perhaps they can sense how enchanted i actually am
Perhaps they know i can gauge their repressed sexuality
I know men, very very well
Perhaps it is my look, female features on a boyish face with a jock type walk
I stand out as well
That never used to be the case
I used to blend in very well
Now that the system and the universe has had time to catch up with me
I stick out
Panther like stride
Midnight panther, unsure of the sex...u wouldn’t want to attempt to sex a panther either
Still, butch aura and a Keanu type look
Painfully tragic eyes
But happier than everyone on earth
I walk up to the pool boy
About 5”9 and a half
a LiL shorter than me, works the desk
Very hawt body, shaved head ,
darkened very tanned skin, boyish charm,
perfect 31 inch waist
I get a confused look the first time i see him
Wondering why i have the lower income pass to get in
I certainly don’t broadcast low income, i mean i have class
The funny notion is i probably make more than him
Less money but more perks
Free prescriptions
“ transit
“ chiro
“ acupuncture
“ clothing allowance
“ i am not taxed
“ added medical perks
“ the very pass i use to get in, is free
I laugh at this, and peoples perception of the poorer class
Mind, you it is not easy... you have to be keen, resourceful, and patient
Neways
The next time i see him, i walk in and i go to the desk and he walks over and snaps at me
You could have come closer to me, so i don’t have to walk over
Hmmm, i think to myself...never heard of a lazy personal trainer before
Smiling i said ty very much for your help
Thoughtform registered as –i must walk over to him next time haha poor guy
I go into my workout
Ponder this, and this really bothered me for some reason
I am uber sensitive
Saddened but eager i go the extra mile in my workout
Walk out
In despair
I leave the city feeling unwelcome
Ponder going back to my old life, a bit heartbroken at how my community treats me
Feeling evidence of the hateful nature of the matrix
I spend a bit of time in Vancouver before thinking to myself
This is silly
I am going back
I wont be pushed out
Some weeks pass by
I guess i purposely avoided this cutie for some reason
I don’t know what i am scared of i am bigger than him.
In some ways i registered the day he worked
About 4 weeks of intense training passes
One morning i wander in right at 5:40 am which is typical for my workouts
Strange usually to see me at a normal hour
I walk up, this time closer
Following Mr. Power Top-boys instructions
Present my pass
And i cant help but look at his perfect waist on beige pants and a chill grey shirt
Finding him absolutely irresistible
I kind of meet eyes for a split second
He went out of his way to smile, and tenderly say thank you very much
With a much softer and more casual tone
Sure beats him angrily snapping at me i thought
I take one more glance at him and walk on
On my way out i see him glancing at me, thru the reflection in the doors
A few days later
I hurried past him, got my pass checked by another staffer
Did my workout
Walk out adjusting the tune in my mp3
I catch his glance again lock eyes
I try to be a bit casual not creepy
Hurrying past
I walk thru the glass doors again
Seeing a partially blind lady , cane with red tip...
I hold the door open for her
She couldn’t believe it, very happy to have somebody help.
Sad she can only see my shadow i thought
I look past her as i am holding the door open
And studly is staring at me
I know what he is thinking
This kid, even holds doors open for blind ladies, what a saint!
I am not a kid lol i am 28
In his manly gaze i am on cloud nine
Beyond anything you would meat on a chatline
His body is a perfect design
I look out at his eyes now, complete earthshine
I pick up on his vibe from his waistline
Belt on his lower abs a perfect streamline
Seeing his amazing and most unusual jawline
I cant help but notice i am like i am on moonshine
Walking past, i would like to hold his hand on the shoreline
This would be, strangely enough... a goldmine
For me, his angry look is somewhat beautiful, and to me sunshine..
He looks all of twenty nine
Hawt
Wonder what his vibe is in sixty nine
Maybe he senses my own disorder of borderline
Or perhaps my aura is opaline
I still find you somewhat cute my porcupine
I meet his eyes then casually walk off, into the skyline
- Shaun A. Delage